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The original was posted on /r/transmedical by /u/Mollyy2412 on 2025-01-27 07:37:37+00:00.

This is probably going to get a lot of hate but I just want some opinion on this situation and you that I’m really desperate because I’m asking reddit out of all places.

To start off with, I’m a trans woman, 18 years old and I’ve been transitioning for about 8 months now (I’ve been in denial my entire 17 years of life and this is an entirely different story on its own). I’ve always really loved my brother and give him a lot of hugs and kisses, he’s just too cute. After I’ve came out to my brother, I’m starting to see him slowly getting more feminine, having she/her/him/theirs as his pronoun. I’m scared that I might have caused him to turn trans because I think he kinda looks up to me. I’m a good student, I get good grades, I cook, wash dishes, go to the library on days off, and other good girl stuff. I’m scared that he looks up to me as “a role model brother”. My parents are the only people in this house who refer to me as a girl, I haven’t asked my youngest brother to refer to me as a girl because I don’t think he’s old enough to understand this stuff and although it’s quite dysphoric hearing him refer to me as his brother, I put up with it so there won’t be any conflict. The fact that he is also calling me “he”, I don’t think he even understands the concept of pronouns and are just following stupid trends online

I think that it is very rare for 2 out of 3 children in this house to be trans, that’s me and my youngest brother. I know that it is his life and he should live however he wants but I feel partially responsible for somehow making him be this way and I’m still not convinced that he is truly trans or just following trends to get accepted by his friends.

Im too scared to talk to him because I’m scared that I’ll say the wrong thing. I just don’t want him to go through all of the suffering that I’ve put up with as a transgirl. Im also scared that he simply has no dysphoria at all and is just following whatever stuff he sees online or talks about with friends. Will he simply grow out of this phase? I need to talk to him but I don’t know how to approach it appropriately. Im scared that if I just directly tell him to stop following these trends, I feel like he’s going to want to be like that more. I think helping him will require asking difficult questions to him like ‘what is gender’, and ‘What are a woman and a man?’. Otherwise, he will just regurgitate talking points. Maybe he is true trans, but I doubt it. I feel like he doesn’t understand because how could he if he doesn’t understand his sister isn’t his brother. I also think you should question if he has gender dysphoria. I also feel like I have to be kind and caring. we all know what it is like to be confused and struggle with gender (or maybe you don’t and you are those lucky few who know they’re trans from the moment they were 4)

I also don’t want him to make irreversible changes to his body because of the internet or be seen as crazy or deluded by other people since he is using so many pronouns. Im actually quite progressive myself, I just believe that if someone want to be a call a women, they should try to be like one and I don’t want my brother to become a transgirl who never passes and just don’t care about what other people thinks. You can disagree or agree with that sentiment but that isn’t what I want to talk about.

Also please don’t hate me for referring to him as a boy. I do this because he has never come out or talked directly to me about any of his potential trans experiences. I’m also moving away soon and I’m scared of leaving my brother alone and what he might do. I just want to be a girl in peace. I truly love my brother and I don’t want any bad to happen to him and although my fear and personal experience might affect this in some way, I don’t want him to get treated badly in the world that he’s going to grow up from. Also sorry for this long ass post, I just really want people to truly understand my situation as much as possible. Writing this was a pain too, I just got home from the library doing a bunch of assignments and now I’m home and I have to do even more fucking writing, I want to kill myself. I know that I don’t even need to do any of this and stop being so nosy but as a loving sister, I don’t think I can do that to myself.Even if you entirely disagree with everything I say, can we just all agree that the internet is not a good influence on children at a young age and that it really rare for there to be 2 trans kid in the same house too?