This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/baseball by /u/FERGERDERGERSON on 2025-02-05 16:56:08+00:00.

You heard me.

Pitcher - Automatic Pitching Machine, laser sighted, using controlled detonations as its launching mechanism it’s able to “throw” at 2000fps.

Catcher - A bottom reinforced bucket. Nothing fancy, pitcher stays in the zone with 101% accuracy.

1st base - Mounted to the bag is a pitching net. Ironic it isn’t the catcher, but he’s versatile and can sub there if bucket needs a day off.

2nd base and Short Stop - Gonna go with the Limo twins here. Good luck getting thru the middle of the infield, Bozo.

3rd base - Adrian Beltre cutout. Gotta have charisma out there, baseball is supposed to be fun after all…

The outfield works together, let me explain.

Left Field - Olympic Sized Swimming Pool. Just gotta cover a good chunk of ground. No bigger pool than the Olympics, or whatever.

Right Field - Giant Tarp, elevated off the ground 1ft with stakes.

Center Field - Now this is where we get the strategy to really shine. A DRONE, mounted with a mechanical arm. If the batter somehow gets a hit and it lands in the water or on the tarp, technically, the ball hasn’t hit the ground. So if Drone picks it up, it’s technically a fly out. If there’s any weirdness and the ball becomes unreachable to all the rest of the defense, Drone can clean it up.

DH is probably a bazooka, if you’re into that kind of thing.