Rule of thumb. If you refuse to use sarcasm or joke tags, don’t complain when people take what you write seriously. It’s a gamble you have to take.

I think the top part does need context.

it’s implied misogyny

Are strap-ons not a thing in their echo chambered world? It sounds like they have no problem with kink shaming.

Slowly making their way does not equal moving slowly. It describes the time it takes to exit the sun, not the speed of the particle.

And why would paving the entire green space not be worse than only paving the paths people walk on?