its been 5 years.
fuck.
I’ve wanted to transition for a 4th of my life now and I still don’t have enough control over my life to be me.
i would probably hate myself so much less if i had started hrt and transitioning when i wanted to.
rant over ill probably delete this post i just needed to vent im sorry
im finally starting to not push down what i want but i don’t feel like i have very much control over my own life. i want to do jobcorps and start hrt and stuff but my partner just claimed me as a dependent literally minutes after i told her it might make me unable to do jobcorps. i dont have a say in a lot of stuff. rn im applying for a college ive never heard of and am “not allowed” to wait or yk, not apply.
Maybe you need to start thinking about if your partner is good for you. Are they controlling literally every aspect of your life?
It sounds to me like you are on the verge of having a lot more freedom in your life - if you are college-aged, you are likely the age of the majority and at least should have the legal rights to make your own medical decisions. (I know it’s often not that simple, if you are economically dependent still, etc.)
If you do end up in college, try to access the mental health resources they have - people often don’t realize that students have access to free therapy on campus, this is a great time to start building your autonomy and independence and therapy can be a useful tool to that end.