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The original was posted on /r/bestofredditorupdates by /u/LucyAriaRose on 2025-01-30 05:16:25+00:00.
I am NOT the Original Poster. That is CRRigmaiden. She posted in r/housekeeping
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Do NOT comment on Original Posts. Latest update is 7 days old.
Mood Spoiler: Happy ending
Original Post: January 21, 2025
Title: Please help me respond
I’m in a peculiar situation and need help responding to it.
So I clean at a private elementary school and also clean private homes on the side. The principle of the school I work for sold her home and asked me if I do the final clean for her. So I did and three weeks after the new home owners move in I get this text from her yesterday.
Everything she is accusing me of I did not do. If she were just a private client I would know better how to respond, but she’s also my boss at a job I love very much (and need) so don’t want to jeopardize it.
Basically she’s accusing me of emptying the contents of the vacuum cleaner into the toilet, flushing plastic gloves and wipes down the toilet, causing it to back up. I assure you I did none of these things. (And after working for her at the school for 3 years, she should know better than this). She sent me this message almost 24 hrs ago and I still haven’t responded because I don’t know what to say to her.
Please help me come up with an appropriate response. I want to remedy this situation without admitting doing something I did not do. Thank you in advance. I am sick over this
Transcript of the text message:
Mrs. Connie, the people that bought our house had some plumbing issues. Toilet overflowed and soaked carpets. Roto rooter came out and found the system full of wipes, plastic gloves and vacuum remenants [sic].
It was inspected before you cleaned and it was fine. This all happened after the last cleaning and once we moved out.
I’m not accusing you, but I don’t know who else it could be.
Some of OOP’s Comments (also from her crosspost to plumbing):
Top Commenter: You should consider cross-posting to plumbing sub-reddit if you want to provide this lady some evidence of where this stuff could have come from. […]
OOP: Great idea. I was thinking it might help to get some technical advice on how these systems work and any possible ideas or how it could have happened.
Commenter: Just be honest with her! The longer you wait the worse it im gets! Do you have any idea how all that stuff could have gotten flushed?
OOP: I don’t have a clue. The inspection was done approximately 2 weeks before I cleaned and the problem occurred 3 weeks after new owners moved in. So that’s 5 weeks of other people having access to it. But I don’t think they would have flushed vacuum cleaner contents down the toilet either. Who does that? From her stand point I can see why she thinks I did it, but I did not and I don’t have a leg to stand on. I don’t know how to prove I didn’t do it
Commenter: Personally I wouldn’t respond at all. If they really think it was you they’ll file a law suit (they won’t), but responding to an asinine accusation is opening the door to further communication on the subject with people that are already trying to gaslight you.
OOP: Although this was a one time clean of her residence, I’ve been working for her for several years as custodian of the school where she is principle. So I can’t really ignore it because it would be awkward when I go to work and see her on a daily basis. I’m also worried it will effect my job as she is my direct boss.
Commenter: I’m sorry you are being accused of something you did not do. Its the worse feeling if you ask me.
I guess all you can do is be honest.
Not sure if they had any work done but at my workplace, our construction workers use gloves and vacuums as well. When they grout or caulk, they use gloves. When they drywall, they use vacuums, etc.
OOP: Thank you. It really is the worst feeling to be accused of something you didn’t do. Especially by someone who knows better. But it seems she has thrown me under the bus
Commenter: Do you wear disposable gloves or use disinfecting wipes? If not you can prove it that way maybe
OOP: I never use wipes and I wear the thick yellow gloves that go up to my elbows. If they got flushed it would have been an immediate problem. Besides I’m not missing any gloves so it wasn’t done accidentally either.
Commenter: Wait…. They had the plumbing inspected BEFORE you cleaned and none of this was in the pipes? How in the world did they come to that conclusion? Sounds fishy to me.
OOP: Unfortunately the text you see in my post is the only thing I’ve gotten from her. Of course she didn’t bother to explain how she come up with that. So yeah the inspection was done appropriately 2 weeks before homeowners moved out and the sewer backed up 3 weeks after the new owners moved in. But she somehow managed to pin point me as the guilty party. It was a one time clean I was there maybe 10 hrs out of the entire 5 week period. Unfortunately I take this very personally because she’s not only my boss at my ‘regular’ job, but I considered her a good friend too.
Commenter: Dear xxx,
If I am to understand the situation, the clogging of the septic tank occurred three weeks after my sole cleaning. For the record, I do not use wipes or disposable gloves. I use microfiber rags and heavy-duty gloves that i wash after every cleaning. Its cost effective. I did not empty my vacuum at your home. I only emptied my vac at home. I feel bad about this situation. However, this was not my doing. Hopefully, the new owners can figure this out and use their homeowners policy to cover the plumbing costs.
Warm regards,
XXX
Going forward, never clean for your main employer tell them that you’re too busy. You don’t want to jeopardize a big job for a small job. A business is different from cleaning a home. I have heard horror stories. I had a big employer use one of my employees to clean his home after i turned him down. He only paid her 200, and it took her 3 days, and he complained about everything she missed. I was caught in the middle. Wasn’t my lesson to learn, but there sadly was a lesson for my employee and now you.
OOP: That’s the best advice I’ve got all day. And the sad thing about it is i I only agreed to do the job because she was in a huge bind. It was a favor I did for her.
Commenter: The is basically her word against yours. I would respond, denying things. Keep the text in case she tries to mess with you at work and never again work for her on the side. If she does start treating you differently, go to your union if you have one.
OOP: Great advice. I will never work for her on the side again. I still can’t believe she did this. I’m not in a union but the school is a private Christian school governed by a board that all know me very well, both personally and professionally. Before going to the school, I worked for the church (for years) who governs the school. I don’t think she would risk embarrassing herself as she is director over elementary, middle and high school.
Update Post 1: January 23, 2025 (2 days later)
Hi I’m the housekeeper who was accused of causing customers plumbing to backup. I’ve tried updating original post but can’t seem to figure it out so I hope this reaches everyone who commented. Also, thank you so much for the advice and support.
So I responded to her the same day of original post, which would have been two days ago. It went something like this:
“I apologize for the slow response, your message took ne by complete surprise and due to the nature of our relationship I wanted to take some time to consider all that you said. First let me say I’m sorry to hear of your trouble with the plumbing backing up in the home you recently closed on.
Secondly, let me assure you I did not do anything to contribute to or cause the clogged lines. I don’t use wipes when I clean homes ( I don’t even own any wipes so wouldn’t have had access to them. I don’t use plastic gloves. I use the large, reusable ones that reach up to my elbows so there’s no way one of them got flushed even by accident. Besides I checked my bag and all are accounted for. And finally, I didn’t use a vacuum in your home.
When I asked about vacuuming the carpets you informed me that you already vacuumed and the people who were coming the next day to shampoo the carpets, would also be vacuuming. And just for the record, I would never flush my vacuum content down anyone’s toilet. As is evident in my work at the school.
Finally, I have consulted a couple of professional plumbers and have been told a clog of that magnitude did not happen from one cleaning. The inspection was done two weeks before closing and the clog occurred 3 weeks after new homeowners moved in. That’s a 5 week period, two different families in the home, various workers, including carpet cleaning crew, and who knows who the new homeowners have had in the home, along with their small children so I find it hard to believe the damage occurred in the 10 hours I spent in…
Content cut off. Read original on https://old.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/1idfc1y/oop_asks_for_help_in_responding_to_accusations/
Finally, I have consulted a couple of professional plumbers and have been told a clog of that magnitude did not happen from one cleaning. The inspection was done two weeks before closing and the clog occurred 3 weeks after new homeowners moved in. That’s a 5 week period, two different families in the home, various workers, including carpet cleaning crew, and who knows who the new homeowners have had in the home, along with their small children so I find it hard to believe the damage occurred in the 10 hours I spent in the home. I have so many questions but I guess the main one is, how can I help you with this situation? What are you expectations of me? Please feel free to let ne know what it is I can do for you. “
She still has not responded back and I sent this two days ago. I live in Louisiana and school has been closed all week due to snow storm so I haven’t returned to work yet but am anxious about seeing her when we do return. Hoping she responds and settles this before I run into her at work. Thanks again for helping ne with this situation
Some of OOP’s Comments:
Commenter: My best guess is she never brings it up again and things will be normal back at work.
If they don’t bring it up then just let go and know you handled it professionally.
OOP: Thank you for your comment. It never occurred to me she might just drop it altogether but the more I think about it the more I think you’re right.
Commenter: Wow you did great! Perfect response to her. She hopefully feels a bit embarrassed for putting this on you. She will probably never bring this up again. Please keep in the back of your mind how quick she was to blame you.
OOP: Yes it’s disappointing to know how quick she’s willing to throw me under the bus and our relationship will never be the same because I will never forget the betrayal and shock I felt.
Commenter: I read your last post and was very interested to read your update. Your letter was perfect! You addressed the items flushed very clearly and were very respectful. 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 I’m wondering if the items causing the backup were from before you cleaned the house. Previous cleaning company?
OOP: I had a plumber tell me it’s probably years of accumulation and there’s no way a one time clean by me and/or the new owners cleaning person could have caused this