I met this Japanese girl in some language forum few months ago and we started exchanging messages on daily basis (but only one message a day). I started liking her as I loved her personality and way of thinking and didn’t seem like other Japanese girls (but maybe it is just me having the stereotype image). She is also my type. She studies in a neighboring country. She did come to my country for a visit and met her face to face. Before coming, I asked her if she is single and interested in a relationship and it was the case. So I suggested going on a casual date and she said yes.
When we met, we walked through the city and then went for dinner but nothing fancy or romantic. After that I told her that liked the time we spent together and would like to see her again and going on more dates. She told me that she’s not sure but she would like to see me. From her answer, I understood that she wasn’t interested.
I didn’t bring that subject until we started talking about difference in dating between Japan and western European countries. For her going on a date is not something casual and happen when the relationship in an advanced stage, before that is hanging out. So I asked her if she misunderstood my previous messages and suggested meeting her and hang out and see. She accepted and asked me what made want to see her again. So I told directly that I like and find her cute. She told me that she wasn’t aware that I was seeing her in that way. I was a little surprised and I thought it was obvious.
We will be meeting in a few weeks and we started looking for things to do. We will be going to watch a very romantic play she suggested and she even asked if we can watch something together in the place I will be staying.
So I am really confused, those seem like things you do in a second or third date in my country. Or something you just do with a friend. But I don’t have too much experience in dating (neither her I think). On my side I won’t make any assumptions and will spend time with her as planned, if things feel right I may ask her directly (I won’t just hold her hands or kiss her).
I know every experience is different but I would like to know your thoughts on this.
I agree with others that this is a very mature and wholesome post. I don’t think there is much difference in dating cultures apart from the fact that in Japan you don’t usually bring your partner home to meet the family until you’re planning to get married.
Maybe she was hesitant at first due to factors such as distance, language, or future uncertainty (will she have to return to Japan? If so, how soon?)
Anyway just keep doing what you’re doing. Communication and respect are the most important things and you seem to be doing both well.
I have no idea but I’m very surprised to see a dating advice post written in such maturity. I felt like you don’t even need advice, you got this. The way you explained it, you were always upfront, respectful and open.
I agree! Perhaps she gave it some thought after OP made his attentions clear and wants to move forward in a more girlfriend-y way. Kind of sounds that way to me. I’m sure they will work it out as they seem to be acting maturely about it.
