Well, the egg “cracked” I guess. After 24 years, I’ve realized that I’m probably NB or trans. Looking back, I think that for a long while now, there’s been something in the back of my mind. Like a seed of doubt. I can think of any number of things that could’ve contributed to it. And it’s weird to me because I haven’t really felt any dysphoria, at least I can’t think of anything off the top of my head. But I know that there’s something off.

But anyway, over last weekend I was thinking about it a lot and after I came to that conclusion it was like this buzzing in my head that I hadn’t realized was there went quiet. And now that I know that… I have no fucking clue what happens next. The only people that know are close friends and I will absolutely not be letting anyone else who knows me know. HRT may be a very long ways (potentially 2 years, haven’t looked into it too much yet) away depending on a pending federal job.

    • dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish
      0·
      26 days ago

      honestly same, I had / have needle phobia, I nearly pass out when getting blood drawn.

      But I learned ways to make it work - I use inject subcutaneously instead of IM, so I use tiny needles that often inject with no pain at all. I learned a ton of different tricks to make injecting doable for me, and I won’t lie - it was hard for me at first. But it also got much easier than I ever thought it would, and now it’s pretty much trivial.

      I still decided injecting was worth it compared to other methods, and I stand by that in my results. I have had better feminization than trans women I know IRL who started HRT around the same time who just use pills.

      My endo agrees that pills are a terrible way to take estrogen, she points out that they cause massive spikes and dips throughout the day rather than maintaining a steady blood level. Also, like 80% of the estrogen is eliminated by the liver and doesn’t get into the blood-stream, so it’s just inefficient and an unnecessary tax on your liver (though I don’t think bioidentical oral estrogen is particularly risky, either).