I’m 30 years old (soon to be 31). I’m a new trans woman (still working through how I might accept it and see myself). I’m unsure how far I should go. I’ve spoken at some length on other communities about what it feels like to be “ugly and masc”. I realize feeling like I can’t “pass” as a fem is partly due to deeply rooted transphobia. I have what most older men have: masculine distribution of fat (bit of a belly), hairy everywhere, fears of balding (so far not yet), deepish voice, etc.
If I had no friends or family, I’d probably just go all in: hormone therapies, voice training, surgeries, etc. But I feel like I need to pass in front of my immediate family since I’m sure I wouldn’t be accepted. I love them, but they wouldn’t get it.
I don’t know how far I should go with transitioning. I am currently considering growing out my hair, shaving, and trying to do exercises that conform my body to a more stereotypical feminine shape. Is there a lot of risk in hormone therapies and voice training? Is it hard to go “boy mode” after the fact? What about being 30+ years old and starting it? Should I just accept I’ll never pass?
ah, interesting - I barely had any hair on my chest or legs to start with, so that might be part of the difference - I basically had a small patch on my sternum that I didn’t really notice until after I transitioned (and then it bothered me immensely, despite being thin and whispy). I always disliked my beard, it felt unclean and like having pubes on my face - not shaving was like the ultimate giving up on my self-care, and was the start of a particularly bad period for me. So shaving it resumed immediately and my sensitivity became rather extreme, beard shadow or its absence had a pretty significant impact on my mood.