White House sources have confirmed the successful execution of 19-year-old college sophomore Evan Dixon late last night by an elite team of special forces.
It hurts how many onion articles lately almost get me. This planet is absolutely fucked.
Fuck this article making light of something he’s obviously going to try in a matter of weeks.
Satirizing something and making light of something are different things.
And yet both could be occurring
but yeah like everyone else i thought this was real until i saw the com name and then remembered the actual thing that happened and realized yes it will happen again
No need for satire. The already militarized yankee police does that job.
How many officers are veterans? 20-30%? And let’s not talk about their instruction. Of course they operate akin to an ocupation force.
Had to double check if this was satire. At this point even the craziest shit sounds like something plausible.
have we eaten the onion, or has the onion eaten us all?
I ate the onion for a second there.
God damn, we are in the worst timeline.
I could just unironically show this to my parents and they’d say “good. Lib got what he deserved.”
Updoot, but geez I member when I used to read the onion to laugh. Darker than this morning’s coffee.
Stop publishing plausible shit. Stop giving them ideas.
