To this day, she remembers the racing thoughts, the instant nausea, the hairs prickling up on her legs, the sweaty palms. She had shared a photograph of herself in her underwear with a boy she trusted and, very soon, it had been sent around the school and across her small home town, Aberystwyth, Wales. She became a local celebrity for all the wrong reasons. Younger kids would approach her laughing and ask for a hug. Members of the men’s football team saw it – and one showed someone who knew Davies’s nan, so that’s how her family found out.

Her book, No One Wants to See Your D*ck, takes a deep dive into the negatives. It covers Davies’s experiences in the digital world – that includes cyberflashing such as all those unsolicited dick pics – as well as the widespread use of her images on pornography sites, escort services, dating apps, sex chats (“Ready for Rape? Role play now!” with her picture alongside it). However, the book also shines a light on the dark online men’s spaces, what they’re saying, the “games” they’re playing. “I wanted to show the reality of what men are doing,” says Davies. “People will say: ‘It’s not all men’ and no, it isn’t, but it also isn’t a small number of weirdos on the dark web in their mum’s basements. These are forums with millions of members on mainstream sites such as Reddit, Discord and 4chan. These are men writing about their wives, their mums, their mate’s daughter, exchanging images, sharing women’s names, socials and contact details, and no one – not one man – is calling them out. They’re patting each other on the back.”

  • spooky2092@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    13 hours ago

    And you would have a point if the man was an openly shitty person. For all you knew this was an otherwise respectable dude who still shared nudes of his partner. You can’t always tell shitty dudes ahead of time. Sometimes you can only know them when they are being shitty dudes.

    Instead, you don’t have a point, you’re just looking to blame the victim.

    • pulido@lemmings.world
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      12 hours ago

      He doesn’t even have to be ‘openly shitty.’ He just has to be ‘average’ or ‘typical’ and that should be enough to set off alarm bells because the current dating landscape rewards shitty males while punishing good ones.

      It’s a cultural problem. I’m not going to give the average male the benefit of the doubt because most average males I’ve come across in my life fall into the category of ‘shitbag womanizer.’

      We need to stop enabling them and start educating people on how to make better decisions on who they associate with.

        • pulido@lemmings.world
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          3 hours ago

          We shouldn’t expect bad people to do the right thing because otherwise they wouldn’t be bad people. Do you honestly believe this person didn’t know what he was doing when he did it? Of course he did, he just didn’t care.

          I know you like living in a fantasy land, but in the real world there are plenty of horrible people that only see others as stepping stones to get what they want. It’s not the world I want to live in, but I would be willfully ignorant if I did not accept it.

          • petrol_sniff_king@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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            2 hours ago

            You think the woman can change to be more responsible…
            but you don’t think the man can change to be less irritating.

            Pulido, if you don’t believe bad people can change, why bother with a society that keeps prisoners at all? Why not just kill them?

            • pulido@lemmings.world
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              1 hour ago

              I think the male can change if he was forced to. Every time he succeeds in womanizing a victim, he has more reasons to stay the same.

              why bother with a society that keeps prisoners at all?

              Because I don’t accept something as fact just because it’s upvoted on reddit. Prisons aren’t just for ‘rehabilitation.’ They are also for keeping ne’er-do-wells away from harming others.

              • petrol_sniff_king@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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                1 hour ago

                Every time he succeeds in womanizing a victim, he has more reasons to stay the same

                Okay. Let’s not let him succeed, then.

                They are also for keeping ne’er-do-wells away from harming others.

                Yes, this is why prison is not an unsupervised room in your own house.