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The original was posted on /r/legalcatadvice by /u/Rude-Spot-1719 on 2025-02-05 22:05:05+00:00.

Henlo Frens, I has a bery big SAD today. I finkin bout leavin my own mommy. She left her “werk” chair so I sat in it. It was warm. It has nice cushion on it. I curl up for nap. Mommy come back and SAT ON ME. I did YOWLHissHissYOWL an mommy jumped up. Sez she though I would “get down” when she came back. Frens, I was having NAP TIME. NAP TIME is sacred! I no havta do anyfing when I has NAP TIME. Mommys giant butt SMOOSHED ME. She say “sorry” and try to cuddle me but I RUN AWAY and hide (behind sofa is good hidin spot, don’t tell). I don’t fink I can EBER furgive mommy for doing a big SMOOSH on my poor bones. I may havta to leave home an find BETTER fambly. Or mebbe lawyer cat can make mommy leave cause this is my home. Pls find new hooman to take care of me who will not SMOOSH me.

Pikshur is how sweet I look when I havin NAP TIME.

Squirrel, elderly ornj gentleman who got SQUASHED