Went on a party on Saturday, and I talked to people as kalliope, I can say it went well? Several people judge me hard and I didn’t care but they have more influence. I met some new people and talk interesting convos like the jace kidnapping (Finn’s know what I’m saying) and me and partners life but the next day no response from any of them. Well I realized that any conversation I make is too serious for anyone of my range and not “relatable” to the collage life they have. The worst part was the karaoke, when they sung in screeching voice it was all laugh and giggles but when me and my partner sung and did some dumb moves, all I saw were death stares and judgment. Lastly some of them wanted to sabotage my relationship with calling my deadname to everyone and making myths that my partner made me trans and that they should make out with me and cheat so I can become “a Right boy” again, . Honestly I’m disappointed that in the year 2026 there is internally transfobia even in the queer space but honestly I won’t see them again but come on, accept me as kalliope and my partner :(
Unrelated picture of me and blahaj in the party :3
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Lastly some of them wanted to sabotage my relationship with calling my deadname to everyone and making myths that my partner made me trans and that they should make out with me and cheat so I can become “a Right boy” again, .
What the fuck, that is an incredibly mean and damaging thing to say, I hope you’re able avoid the people who said that.
That is really painful and bewildering to experience the sort of (or any) transphobia that you experienced in what should be an accepting space.
I think it is important for trans people especially to approach queer spaces with the understanding that a unified queer culture is very much not a thing, and what exists within reach is subject to the material and social relations of your locality. It is not unusual to discover that there are harmful classist, racist, sexist, ableist, and yeah, queerphobic elements within a local queer culture, regardless of what is imagined as a universal ground for queer solidarity.
The reason why I say trans or gnc people specifically is that most people unfortunately often still subscribe to simplistic and compartmentalized constructions of queerness that does not allow them to understand that transness is not just transness, but also the unique experiences of socioeconomic inequities and disability through trauma that trans and gnc people are effected by, and therefore how they interact with those communities,
I find I can be too intense for a lot of queer people too, and that may be the result of say, my personality or neurodivergence (and is certainly in relation to those things), but how could I possibly say that this is why when I, like very many trans women, have lived a very intense life, and carry those experiences with me into any interaction. That puts responsibility onto me as well, by asking that I negotiate myself with those sensibilities or address potential cognitive distortions in myself that could effect how I interpret their behaviour, but how could we do that when experiences like you just described are unfortunately still so common?
For you, I’d measure this outing by how well you navigated those conflicts and encountered genuine connections, and continue to evaluate queer communities by what you can safely do within them.
Oh wow, hope you’ll find a good circle to hang out with where you can be yourself and not judged 😣
