Aside from the name stub, which I understand your issue with, the things you mentioned are not the “lore” of that community. The stub itself unfortunately, can’t be changed, but there is a reason community is called “Transfem” and not “MTF”. The opening sentence of the sidebar is “This is a supportive community for all transfeminine or questioning people” for a reason.

I’ve defederated entire instances and banned countless accounts over their exclusion of gender diversity outside of the binary and bigotry against otherkin.

There are undoubtedly folk in the existing community that hold binarist views, and there are undoubtedly folk in there that hold cisnormative views, but that is the same of every trans community on lemmy including this new one. What matters is the response to those views being expressed, and that should look like education and awareness, which is I hope, how it will manifest in this community. Exclusive language steeped in transmedicalist perspectives is steeped in our history, because it was forced on us by cis gatekeepers, and that’s impossible to completely escape from as long as people who lived through that experience are part of the community. And whilst that’s history in some parts of the world, in many others, it’s still a requirement to access care and support, and that harmful perspective that is forced on us, shapes many peoples internal view of themselves and their community.

We can’t make that go away with rules or a ban hammer though. It needs to be met with support example setting. If someone refers to their own experience in terms that lean on exclusionary language, a good response isn’t telling them how they have to refer to themselves, but instead, showing them by example that there are more inclusive, open ways of thinking about their own experiences in the way you talk about your own experiences. Change comes from giving folk room to grown and showing them empathy whilst they navigate the unpacking of enforced binary and transmedicalist perspectives.

Where it crosses the line is if people start to use that language to deny the experiences of others, if they double down on using language for other folk that other beings have said makes them uncomfortable, it’s time for a moderator to step in.

And that’s what I’m saying to you or to anyone else reading this. If you do see exclusive language being pushed on to others, flag it, because it has no place in any community on blahaj.zone.