Sigh. I don’t know where to start or what do I need to ask here even at all.
So, I have joined a new workplace and I just don’t know how to interact with people. Most of the time I don’t feel the energy to interact. But being shutdown feels not very socially acceptable behavior nor I feel it would do any good to me.
First two weeks, I didn’t talk with anyone at all. Only one or two interactions here and there that’s about it. After I did manage to get into small group of employees who’ve joined recently and they allowed me to join their social circle.
At this point, I thought I was gonna be okay and will improve at socialising. But even after a month, I still feel this feeling of being subhuman level at socialising. I feel so different, I feel so not normal. I feel everyone are just better at socialising. They got this nailed down somewhere down their lives but somehow I just missed it.
I just don’t know what to do. I don’t have confidence in my voice either so most of the time I try to end conversations with few words. Idk anything really.
Edit: Wow, I didn’t expect this much reception to this post especially since it was very messy how I explained my problem. But you guys surprised me, haha. Thank you all for your advice. I’m reading every one of your replies! I love this community.
There’s people I socialise with that fulfil my needs for socialisation. There’s a few of those.
Then there’s people that I can socialise with just fine, make sure they have a nice time, but it doesn’t fulfil my needs whatsoever. There’s loads of those.
I’m glad this stuff works for you, but you don’t speak for everyone’s social wiring.
If someone told me they didn’t have a medical condition, but they found it a strain to walk around the block, I’d tell them to try to spend a lot more time walking.
That’s certainly one way to brush aside any nuance to how social situations work.
“Then there’s people that I can socialise with just fine, make sure they have a nice time, but it doesn’t fulfil my needs whatsoever. There’s loads of those.”
If you find socializing with many people a strain, remember that you’re the one common factor in all those interactions.
I’m impressed, you’ve managed to insult me whilst also insisting that only your opinion is correct.
I’m humbled by your uncanny social skills. Teach me, sensei.
If quoting you accurately is an insult, so be it.
Keep digging, mate.
Why? You seem to think I’m insulting you. Is there any point in going on, except that you like being insulted?
Ultimately, the point is that I find your dismissal of my experiences both massively condescending and the way you choose to do it hugely insulting. Particularly when doing so actively undermines your premise.
We could have had a nice chat about how different people experience different social situations, how forming connections can be one sided, and related interesting things.
But no, I’m apparently shit at socialising because I’m different from you. If I was better at it, everyone and their gran would invigorate me socially, I just need to try harder, because everyone works like that and nuance doesn’t fucking exist.
Fire up those magical social skills of yours as you’re making a pig’s ear of this interaction.