How about a wearable poster board print out with a giant red NO stamped on it in faux blood as your costume. You can stay at home or walk the neighborhood, handing out full sized bars.
Want to be a real extra contrarian? Build a “candy stand” made of the print out. Add castor wheels and a loud speaker and flashing lights. Finally, add a button kids can slap that shouts "fffuuullll sssiiizzeedd bbbbbaaarrrrrsssss!!! at max legal volume. Roll it from HOA leader house to HOA leader house as the night carries on.
Ohh yeah, you better be rolling deep in full sized bars. It better basically be a large pallet of candy pretending to be a candy stand. You will have an army of insane 5-11 year olds slapping the shit out of that button for hours, and you gotta be able to keep the magic going to match maximum obnoxiousness.
You’ll have to be a goddamn hero to those children, a being of endless chocolate, to really, really shame whatever adult though this was a reasonable request.
I mean, at that point, you might as well put up a market tent in the drive to cover the patio heater, spiced cake donuts, and pony keg of cider for the parents.* Make it a block (the fuckin’ trolls) party!
*if anecdotal evidence is permitted, (no HOA bitches in our area) the next year half a dozen neighbors did the same. 🥳
Roving party village seems like a win win for everyone. Maybe build the whole thing on one of those “bike pedal bars” that are somehow the best and stupidest thing possible:
Print that email out on a large poster board and display it by your front door as you hand out king size candy.
How about a wearable poster board print out with a giant red NO stamped on it in faux blood as your costume. You can stay at home or walk the neighborhood, handing out full sized bars.
Want to be a real extra contrarian? Build a “candy stand” made of the print out. Add castor wheels and a loud speaker and flashing lights. Finally, add a button kids can slap that shouts "fffuuullll sssiiizzeedd bbbbbaaarrrrrsssss!!! at max legal volume. Roll it from HOA leader house to HOA leader house as the night carries on.
A mobile candy station? They’d never make it out alive. 😱🤣
Ohh yeah, you better be rolling deep in full sized bars. It better basically be a large pallet of candy pretending to be a candy stand. You will have an army of insane 5-11 year olds slapping the shit out of that button for hours, and you gotta be able to keep the magic going to match maximum obnoxiousness.
You’ll have to be a goddamn hero to those children, a being of endless chocolate, to really, really shame whatever adult though this was a reasonable request.
I mean, at that point, you might as well put up a market tent in the drive to cover the patio heater, spiced cake donuts, and pony keg of cider for the parents.* Make it a block (the fuckin’ trolls) party!
*if anecdotal evidence is permitted, (no HOA bitches in our area) the next year half a dozen neighbors did the same. 🥳
Roving party village seems like a win win for everyone. Maybe build the whole thing on one of those “bike pedal bars” that are somehow the best and stupidest thing possible:
Likely need a permit for a moving cider hut, though. Better to keep that on-site, IME. 😅
Make sure you put pictures of all the board members on it.