I can hyperfocus when others have expectations of me (work), but in context of my own life and what I want to do with it, I can’t put the mental burden of managing me on someone else, and whenever anyone has tried I get become defiant against… my own self interests? FML.
I found a way to reframe that defiance issue that might work for you.
I believe we get defiant because we already know the task needs doing. However, instead of treating being told to do something as a reminder to do something you already know you need to do, you treat the reminder as a request for re-prioritization.
Our executive dysfunction seems to me to be a problem of prioritization. We have an infinitely long To Do List, it’s not that we need help knowing what to do. We need help knowing what’s supposed to be the top item on that list at any given moment in present time.
So, when someone tells you to do something, try parsing their meaning as, “Hey, could you bump this item up to current?” And THEN respond accordingly.
Know thyself, know your deficiencies, and then embrace them. Welcome the assistance with the prioritization, let go of the resentment of being reminded to do something you already are aware of.
We have time blindness, so don’t resent clocks, use them as the tool they are right? So don’t resent people when they mean well, they just don’t have the vocabulary to speak ADHD, so we build our own internal translators.
I can hyperfocus when others have expectations of me (work), but in context of my own life and what I want to do with it, I can’t put the mental burden of managing me on someone else, and whenever anyone has tried I get become defiant against… my own self interests? FML.
I found a way to reframe that defiance issue that might work for you.
I believe we get defiant because we already know the task needs doing. However, instead of treating being told to do something as a reminder to do something you already know you need to do, you treat the reminder as a request for re-prioritization.
Our executive dysfunction seems to me to be a problem of prioritization. We have an infinitely long To Do List, it’s not that we need help knowing what to do. We need help knowing what’s supposed to be the top item on that list at any given moment in present time.
So, when someone tells you to do something, try parsing their meaning as, “Hey, could you bump this item up to current?” And THEN respond accordingly.
Know thyself, know your deficiencies, and then embrace them. Welcome the assistance with the prioritization, let go of the resentment of being reminded to do something you already are aware of.
We have time blindness, so don’t resent clocks, use them as the tool they are right? So don’t resent people when they mean well, they just don’t have the vocabulary to speak ADHD, so we build our own internal translators.