You dipshits brought this down on us, so STFU and go enjoy your horrible consequences.

How did this one not make the rounds when I was a kid? All we had was Claude Balls, Seymour Butts, and Jack Mehoff. Oh and super racist stuff about the Polish that stays dead.

They say that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, but experimental Aztec archeology has demonstrated that it’s past the stomach and up under the ribcage. With a sharp knife and practice they got it down to under 10 seconds.

Infinite petty cash. you can’t buy most big-ticket items with cash, like a new car or a house, and you can’t spend it online, only in person. And, since you can only do it to pay for things, you can’t just pull money out of your pocket forever to hoard. You might be able to trick it with the right accomplice, or just use it to buy gold and then resell it, but it’s pretty inefficient.

So instead of Storm you’d be High Humidity.

B-tier power: Exact Change. Any time I want to pay for something with cash, I have the power to reach into my pocket and pull out exactly the amount of cash money needed to do so. This has no effect on anyone’s money anywhere else, like wallets or bank accounts - it just magically appears.