You think cops care about trust?

Edit. Just reread your comment and I do believe I misunderstood it initially. My apologies

Someone needs to rewrite a version of “Sympathy for the Devil” based solely off every horrible thing trump did, ending with a line about how the devil himself never did any of those things

Not even holding the bottle correctly. He’s getting gas, but only in the state of matter not gasoline.

I love seeing the use of the word “chortle” in the wild

Can’t say you’re missing out on anything

“They’re putting razors in the cheese!”

“Na, that’s just extra sharp cheddar.”

Y’know, being eviscerated by a newborn raptor would be a cool thing to brag about in whatever afterlife you end up in.

“How’d you die?” “Old age. You?” “Baby raptor attack.”

They don’t have the ones in my area. Where do I go to inform them of this so they add them to their next update?

What is Never Slop’s name? They are adorable 😻

Nervously avoiding eye contact: “W-what? No, I don’t…” Knife is out in the open for all to see.

(My deleted comment was a result of Comment Mitosis™)

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I’d rather underperform in front of a talent scout than a cub scout.

The talent scout only cares about the money they can make off you. The cub scout cares about you. I wouldn’t wanna disappoint the kid.

Unrelated to the content at hand, but

Dude looks old af, but damn has he aged gracefully!

I keep seeing him addressed as “Dr.” What does he have a doctorate in? Just curious

Edit. He’s an epidemiologist. Hells yeah, man!

Because they were also having loud sex without being married

The more I look at it, the more I agree with the sentiment “what the fuck is this”

My deleted comment was a result of Comment Mitosis™

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I doubt whatever caused them to explode would let any loopholes get exploited. (E.g. Bezos technically isn’t a billionaire because his riches aren’t in money form, but he still explodes like all the others.)

Edit. Your comment history made me realise I just fed a Mother’s-basement Troll™ 🤦‍♀️

A flood of Happy Brain Sauce™ overcame me with the sight of that image. Such nostalgia

Lucky. Half of my tiny ass town got flattened by that thing