Agreed, switch the applications first. I like using https://alternativeto.net/ to find replacements.

As others have said, Nextcloud for files/calendar and Tailscale for VPN is your answer.

Nextcloud can be installed in several ways, one of which is Docker Compose. Docker Compose is flexible but requires learning a bit, although you can use it for most self-hosted software.

I agree with this, the issue may be the packages installed rather than the distro. For a more reliable experience, I like to:

• Use Flatpak instead of the AUR where possible
• Use built-in filesystems and avoid DKMS

I think it’s cool you’re trying to find ways to get into this. If the goal is to learn, why not deploy the services on your laptop? They won’t be available when the computer is off of course, but you would still get the full experience. Even a low-spec laptop will be better than a cheap VPS.