Silliest thing I’ve read all day that you can’t say happy birthday to a stranger and mean it sincerely. Preposterous.

Whatever though, I’ll respect your wishes, and won’t say it. BUT I STILL SINCERELY HOPE TODAY IS THE TINIEST BIT LESS SHIT THAN USUAL FOR NO PARTICULAR REASON WHATSOEVER.

Also, you don’t own me, I can care about whomever I fucking want, and that includes you, asshat.

Won’t the eyes get super hot?

I am unfamiliar with stuffed animal microwaving tactics, as I generally default to the air fryer, but have also heard good things about sous vide, fwiw.