At press time, cocaine released a statement enthusiastically endorsing its “good friend” Donald Trump, Jr.

Lmfao

Ok.

Fair.

The lack of standards path of course.

No-fault divorce: a concept that’s been around since the 1700s but was first written into law in the U.S. in 1969, resulting in drastically reduced suicide rates among women. Vice President JD Vance has spoken publicly about divorce being too easily accessible, and said during a Christian high school assembly that people shouldn’t be able to “shift spouses like they change their underwear.” In the last few years, Republican politicians in Texas, Nebraska, Louisiana, South Carolina, Oklahoma, and South Dakota have tried, with varying degrees of extremity, to curb their constituents’ rights to no-fault divorce.

Oh come on. I haven’t finalized my divorce yet and your gonna drop this shit now? I’d have to prove my ex had an affair to get divorced, and you fuckers would still make me give half my shit to her too I bet, and give me no custody because I’m not mom.

But let me guess, if I beat her senseless for no reason other than to remind her I’m bigger, that’s completely ok, and infact vital to a healthy marriage?

I knew it was coming at some point but kindly yeet yourself off a bridge Deevers and take your orange daddy with you

Ok so this one just isn’t fair.

Two possibilities end up with me dead, two end up with millions dead, and one ends up with me being unemployed.

Sorry not sorry Team A and B, sacrifices must be made.

6 months? You think 6 months to see an oncologist is rare in the US?

Are you including the number of people who don’t seek any care until they end up in the ER with acute symptoms because they couldn’t go in to get regular screening or preventive care?

And before you say that should be covered by the ACA you are still ignoring that hospitals are open 9-5 and the people who can’t make it to the hospital are working the job they need for health insurance during those same hours, provided they have transportation and can take off more than an hour to wait for the primary care to visit them.

Not to mention, if the cancer hasn’t progressed to stage 3 or 4 by that point, the health insurance won’t likely be paying for the most effective treatment, they’ll be paying for the treatment “they have on record for effective treatment”.

And who’s to say you can even get into an oncologist familiar with your cancer? Then may feel more comfortable referring you to a John Hopkins, or Mayo Clinic, or one in California. So now you have to pay for transportation and living expenses in another state while you get treatment and don’t work. Some insurances might cover this. Most won’t. Some companies will foot the bill. Most will laugh at you.

6 months? It’s a 5 month wait to get a new primary care provider here. Fuck your 6 month complaint.

Yeah I’m just going to be alone until the divorce finalizes and I get used to the whole handing the kid off. 5 fucking years of therapy and counseling and shit and I still wake up sweating and yelling at my ex in my separate place.

Man, physics is stupid difficult to learn without spherical cows and frictionless surfaces.

Hell, astrophysics has so much “eh we can ignore this number because it’s so tiny compared to a black hole.”

And don’t forget about Quantum. There’s a whole time-dependent AND time-independent wave equation.

I mean, yeah true. Second worst immortality ever (having read Mickey7).

Constant flashbacks to the discovery of it? Nightmares? Vulnerability issues? Trust issues you never had before? Inability to watch porn because it reminds you of the pleasure you had violently ripped from your memory?

Lmfao Y’all wanna see my shorter life list: Depression -18 Asthma -7 Trichotillomania - bad ADHD -6.8 years Post Infidelity Stress Disorder - lmfao

Y’all I should be dead

Make no mistake your silence WILL be met with violence.

And if they are asking you you can bet your ass you are under suspicion of dissent.

There is no safety under a totalitarian government. And guess what? Party members are at risk too! It’s a brilliant system.

Not toeing the line? Purged. Toeing the line too much to make a superior look worse? Purged. Wrong joke to the wrong person? Purged. Using a slightly outdated line of propaganda? Definitely purged. Keeping your trap shut and shaking your head? Believe it or not, purged, because you didn’t help them.

It’s super fucked, and I’m anything but sorry for people who payed so little attention to every goddamn history class ever to not know this.

Nazi Germany saw 21,900,000 people killed by policy, and that number doesn’t include civilian collateral damage from the war.

MAGA is a death cult. Plain and simple.

Ok that makes sense, but opens up more questions.

Is blonde hair using it to insult brown hair? Is blonde hair communicating the desire to penetrate brown hair? Is brown hair actually a bottom? How does blonde hair actually penetrate brown hair, if at first glance blonde is a woman? Is this a BDSM thing?

I feel so out of the loop

Ok, clearly the joke isn’t aimed at me, and I get the “use your words part” that’s pretty funny. But I don’t get the “I don’t speak bottom”

Fuck.

Now what?

Well, that’s a higher % then I expected, but now I wonder what criteria they were really using.

2000 to 3000?

I wonder how many pictures that actually covers. 0.1%? 0.5%? 0.77%?

Yeah as someone who can’t wear contacts and won’t do LASIK

Fuck big ass glasses they ain’t cool if they aren’t gonna protect you in a workshop

Oh good I was worried they would be rich and be doing it for entirely monetary reasons

I have two concepts of time.

Now and not now.

It’s going to get me fired because my time estimates are always wildly off.