- 17 Posts
- 1.17K Comments
every day is Norm’s day. love you.
toy_boat_toy_boat@lemmy.worldtoUnited States | News & Politics@midwest.social•Job opportunitiesEnglish0·7 hours agoi know that in a world i should expect, these people will ultimately be held accountable and will pay for their crimes. i also know that i don’t live in that world, and it’s getting harder and harder every day to keep on doing this dance.
i mean, it’s only logical to assume you can train cats to burgle, right?
and as for your moth, those guys are fools. i’m a barber, and i had a moth come into my shop one night and it started telling me all about its feelings. i was like, ‘why are you telling me this stuff? i’m a barber. you need a psychologist.’ and all he said was, ‘well your light was on…’
that’s exactly what happened. i replied to someone else about it, but i guess i didn’t explicitly say that’s why i thought it was funny.
“A Sunday Afternoon on the Island of La Grande Jatte”
toy_boat_toy_boat@lemmy.worldto Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world•You Know What They Say:English0·4 days agoeverybody grab your broomsticks!
yeah, right before he yells “shoutout yall!” and does that heart thing with his hands. true hardcore johnny cash right there
(i’m still laughing that you caught that so quickly)
doesn’t matter, because it’s a disingenuous post anyways. the song is about how that shit is BAD:
Early one morning while making the rounds I took a shot of cocaine and I shot my woman down Went right home and I went to bed I stuck that loving 44 beneath my head
Got up next morning and I grabbed that gun Took a shot of cocaine and away I run Made a good run but run too slow They overtook me down in Juarez, Mexico
Laid in the hot joints taking the pill In walked the sheriff from Jericho Hill He said Willie Lee, your name is not Jack Brown You’re the dirty hop that shot your woman down
I said yes sir, my name is Willie Lee If you got a warrant, just read it to me Shot her down because she made me sorе I thought I was her daddy but she had five morе
When I was arrested I was dressed in black They put me on train and it took me back I had no friends for to go my bail They slapped my dried up carcass in that county jail
Got up next morning about a half past nine Spied a sheriff coming down the line Hopped and he coughed as he cleared his throat He said, come on you dirty hop into that district court See country shows near Lewiston Get tickets as low as $54 You might also like Folsom Prison Blues Johnny Cash Cocaine Blues Billy Strings & Don Julin loml Taylor Swift Into the courtroom, my trial began Where I was handled by twelve honest men Just before that jury started out I saw that little judge commence to look about
In about five minutes, in walked a man Holding the verdict in his right hand The verdict read in the first degree I hollered, lordy lordy, have mercy on me
The judge he smiled as he picked up his pen Ninety-nine years in the Folsom pen Ninety-nine years underneath that ground I can’t forget the day I shot my woman down
Come on you hops and listen unto me Lay off that whiskey and let that cocaine be
toy_boat_toy_boat@lemmy.worldto Technology@lemmy.world•The end of Windows 10 is approaching, so it's time to consider Linux and LibreOfficeEnglish0·4 days agoand yet you persist. why?
(sorry, this is totally a troll)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RTI-sbjUJ-g
this is clearly meant to be hilarious. what are
twothree things that will never stay still to pose for a painting?
toy_boat_toy_boat@lemmy.worldto politics @lemmy.world•Newsom mocks Hegseth, Trump over ‘job well done’ post on National GuardEnglish0·12 days agoamen
i just wish i could be as godly as honey boo boo
toy_boat_toy_boat@lemmy.worldto Weird Wheels@lemmy.world•[CUSTOM, 1900s] The Goatmobile (The Original), Fourth in the 'Powered by Animals Series'English0·12 days agowe blow, too!
toy_boat_toy_boat@lemmy.worldto politics @lemmy.world•Newsom mocks Hegseth, Trump over ‘job well done’ post on National GuardEnglish0·12 days agook buddy
toy_boat_toy_boat@lemmy.worldto politics @lemmy.world•Newsom mocks Hegseth, Trump over ‘job well done’ post on National GuardEnglish0·12 days agoyay. people are getting fucked and the leader idiots are having a flame war. tell me again how you’re still a serious country.
toy_boat_toy_boat@lemmy.worldto Off My Chest@lemmy.world•I’m dry on the phone and I hate itEnglish0·12 days agoshe’s a book you haven’ t read yet. but you can’t read the book; you have to ask her to tell you about it
toy_boat_toy_boat@lemmy.worldto memes@lemmy.world•Feelin' the Spirit... from a respectable distanceEnglish6·16 days agohow are you measuring your bibles? length or girth?
POW you just got punched! we’re punching everybody over here now.
what else even needs to be said?