You’re beautiful. But your honker? Needs work. M. Trilety brings you the latest in schnozzle improvement tech. Here’s a surviving example of his snifferoni adjuster, which in no way resembles an inquisition device.
Mr. Trilety’s products were not exclusive to the US. Londoners pursuing proboscis perfection? Here you go.
Snout improver Instructions, from a University of Buffalo historical collection.
Trilety would also sell you a fix for your bow legs.
A lot (there are lot of ways to prepare them) and, watching the movie, I’ve taken copious notes on how to make them grow on the surface of Mars, worry not ;)