You’re beautiful. But your honker? Needs work. M. Trilety brings you the latest in schnozzle improvement tech. Here’s a surviving example of his snifferoni adjuster, which in no way resembles an inquisition device.
Mr. Trilety’s products were not exclusive to the US. Londoners pursuing proboscis perfection? Here you go.
Snout improver Instructions, from a University of Buffalo historical collection.
Trilety would also sell you a fix for your bow legs.
The real sad part is in realizing people would still buy that crap nowadays. We’re so much better educated than our naive ancestors and so well informed. They were so gullible, back then, right?
That being said, thx a lot for sharing, it’s a neat addition to a growing collection of our most amazing achievements in the subtle art of milking people dry of their hard earned money.
OK, I’m now officially volunteering to be the first human being to be send to Mars. Even without a ticket back… even more so without one.
volunteering to be the first human being to be send to Mars
Hmm. How much do you like potatoes?
A lot (there are lot of ways to prepare them) and, watching the movie, I’ve taken copious notes on how to make them grow on the surface of Mars, worry not ;)
I’ll go with you. I’ve always wanted to be shot in a craft perpendicular to the plane of orbit, since we haven’t really launched anything that direction. In a few hundred thousand years, the craft might be getting far enough to get an image of the milky way from above, which would be pretty neat even if I’m long dead. I’d probably be the farthest human from a star ever, for another million years or more until intergalactic travel happens (if it even can).
But I’d take mars at this point, too.
I got curious. Super hand wavy, but our galaxy is about 1000 light years thick way out where we are, and maybe 8500 in the center. You’d want some distance from the disk, so let’s say 10000 LY total distance for a sweet panorama. (I suspect you’d want more, ideally, since it’s 88,000 LY in diameter).
New Horizons is around 14 km/s heliocentric after its Pluto approach. That won’t cut it for galactic escape, so you’ll need to figure how to hit about 550 km/s. Say you work that out. You’ll slow down as you go, so let’s say you average 250 km/s in the galactic reference frame.
That works out to around 12,000,000 years. Maybe you can arrange more gravity assists from other stars too, and cut that down some. Although, since you’ll be dead, you could also just take your time.
IDK, I think it needs some radium…
No one cared about who I was till I put on the mask
I feel like this text would make for a good dramatic reading
My thing is that, assuming it worked at all, It would take years to cause a permanent change.
I’m not confident it wouldn’t work at all though. The body can and does change with consistent pressure and/or use patterns. Braces are a perfect example.
I suspect that this might give you some temporary shifts after a few weeks of use. I think they might last a day or two. They wouldn’t be as significant as the ad makes it out, but it’s definitely possible to shift fat under the skin by applying constant pressure. You can see it when people wear overly tight clothing regularly. Cartilage can be changed in similar circumstances, though not that drastically afaik.
But, when the pressure is relieved, tissues tend to go back to where they normally would be.
I did a minor search for the general subject matter, but with the changes to the main search engines, every result is utterly useless crap about plastic surgery and injections, and I don’t have the patience to dig through bullshit to get to useful hits for this minor amount of curiosity.
That being said, I have personally seen noses and ears changed by extended pressure applied. But it was in bedbound patients unable to move on their own, and it did take a really long time to show up. Where I lack confidence is a device like this. I want to say it shouldn’t work. And that’s likely the truth, that it wouldn’t. But with long term changes happening from similar things, I can’t dismiss it out of hand either
I’m not confident it wouldn’t work at all though.
That was my thinking too. With most of the 1800s and early 1900s medical quackery, I feel pretty confident in saying that it’s complete nonsense. But I wasn’t confident to state that here, for the reasons you say. That’s not to say it definitely could, of course. But I was thinking about things like those cultures that reshape people’s skulls by binding them tightly for long periods of time, and so on.
Exactly; foot binding too, as well as the neck ring thing, etc. There’s plenty of examples, but this one still “feels” quacky lol
Agreed. I wager it probably did nothing in practice because who the hell is going to tolerate having that thing smooshing their nose for years? People probably wore it intermittently for a week or two, told themselves their nose looked nicer, and carried on.
