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The original was posted on /r/bestofredditorupdates by /u/Choice_Evidence1983 on 2025-01-29 05:00:07+00:00.
I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/Key-Reporter4967
Originally posted to r/AskWomenOver30
Have a weird feeling about an upcoming trip: advice needed
Thanks to u/soayherder & u/Direct-Caterpillar77 for suggesting this BoRU
Trigger Warnings: brain aneurysm
Original Post: November 1, 2024
I (30f) and supposed to take a 4 day cross country trip with a friend (35f) next week. Yesterday I went to book the rental car and had this insane feeling of dread come over me about the trip that I just cannot shake. I am not a spiritual person but there is something telling me to cancel the trip.
I haven’t spoken to the friend about it yet but this is so out of character for me. I’m not an anxious or paranoid person usually but there is just something telling me not to go and I’m going to listen.
How do I do this nicely? Bc this is out of character I feel like I can’t say I’m having a premonition, luckily a lot of shit is going on at work which she knows about so will probably blame that and offer to pay for her flight and hotel so she won’t lose any money.
Any other advice??
I’m sure she’ll be upset but I can’t explain it, I just absolutely cannot go.
Relevant Comments
Sea_Essay3765: I’m not a spiritual person either, in fact I’m quite the opposite, but if you have this strong of a feeling then don’t ignore it. Whether that means looking into if there’s other reasons you just don’t want to go that is causing this or bringing it up to your friend. If this were me I would probably bring up to the friend, something along the lines of seeing how they are feeling about the trip. What if they had a weird feeling too and are just ignoring it? If you are absolutely dead set on not going then be direct with your friend so they can sort their end out.
OOP: Honestly they might. Usually we’re obsessive planners but we really have not been for this trip, she might also have some hesitation
BeJane759: Not saying you can’t or shouldn’t cancel, but just to offer my own perspective… I have an anxiety disorder, and I have never once boarded a plane without assuming it will crash or booked a hotel/rental car without feeling like it was a big mistake. Last month I messaged my friend about a trip we had already planned to take to confirm the dates, and as soon as I texted her, I felt like I was going to puke because I was so anxious about it. I went anyway, it was great, and we’re planning to do it again next year. Sometimes anxiety is just anxiety and not a premonition.
OOP: Totally valid. It’s not so much I think we’re going to die or something, I felt anxiety before although I don’t have chronic anxiety and this feeling is different. For me anxiety is a wired feeling of “should i” and this is a calm “no”. But these are important questions to ask myself so i appreciate this
Update: January 21, 2025 (2.5 months later)
In November I was supposed to travel across the country with a friend and had a really weird feeling about it, ended up cancelling the trip.
Original post:
The friend I was supposed to go with was understanding and we decided to really just push it off to a later date. We work together at a hospital so we both went to work and saved the time off. Well on the day we were supposed to leave, at the time we would have been in the air no less, she had a brain aneurysm and collapsed while at work. She thankfully survived and now 3 months later, has made basically a full recovery! If we went on that trip there is no way she would have survived, i genuinely believe she only survived because we were at work already in a hospital where she was able to get immediate care. I even think about what would have happened if we decided to do a staycation rather than cancel the PTO. Feeling very fortunate for the decisions made.
I don’t think I have super powers or anything but TRUST YOUR GUT!!
Edit: wow so surprised how many people remember my original post!! Thanks for all the well wishes for my friend, she really is the best 🫶🏻
Relevant / Top Comments
DramaticErraticism; This is just so peculiar. You and a good friend were going on a fun trip, you went to book things, got a feeling of dread, cancelled the trip…and then the day you were supposed to leave, your friend had a brain aneurism, while on shift, at the hospital?
I’ve always heard ‘trust your gut’ but it’s more along ‘This guy gives me a weird vibe’. I’ve never heard of trusting your gut when it comes to premonitions about vacation disasters…and then having having a disaster happen that was avoided by not going on that trip.
How do you feel about all of this? I think I would feel really conflicted if I was in the same situation. If I’m trying something new or going somewhere new, I can often have a bad feeling…but it’s mostly because it’s something new and strange and different and my mind doesn’t care for those things. I push past it and have a great time, there was nothing to worry about, my brain was just afraid of the new situation.
If this happened to me, I’d feel like I’d start having choice paralysis lol
OOP: Yup totally get this!
So a couple things:
- This feeling I had was not the same sort of feeling I get when I’m nervous or have a bad feeling, or a weird vibe etc. It was extremely strong, extremely uncomfortable. It really was a completely different foreboding feeling, something I’ve never really felt before. I am a very analytical person, I am very in touch with my emotions so even the fact that I could not identify why I felt that way was also VERY unusual for me. Tbh I kind of thought maybe I was having a mental breakdown lol which I would not wanted to happen on vacation either
- I grew up in a very superstitious, religious community that just did not really speak to me growing up and I think because of that I am very much the opposite. I don’t look for signs, wear the same clothes if my team wins, truly any of that. And I think if I were, this experience would make me never leave the house if I have the slightest hesitation but I really feel it was a bit of a fluke.
- So many things had to go exactly as it did, even things I had no Input on (ie. what if her bus was late? What if she changed her mind and decided to call out? What if the person who was supposed to cover her shift really wanted the hours and didn’t want to give the shift back?) this for me takes the loci of control away from me, I don’t think I’m solely responsible for saving her life.
Finally, I am content for this to just be a crazy story without refocusing my life thinking I have superpowers 😊
OOP explains her thoughts for everyone else who might be in the same shoes on trusting your guts and not ignoring it
OOP: I’m so sorry 🤣 I wouldn’t describe my feeling as anxiety though, it was a very intense foreboding. Do I think I can tell the future? No, not really. I think I got really lucky. While I do think you should trust your gut I don’t think acting on anxiety is the same thing! I also think you shouldn’t do things you dont want to, vacations are supposed to be fun and If there’s a specific reason you’re feeling anxious, definitely explore that too. Hope that helps!
star_gazing_girl: This is incredible to hear! I have heard anecdotally of things like this happening, and the moral is always, trust your instincts!
So happy your friend is doing well and now you get to go on a trip together in the future ❤️
Lazy-Quantity5760: Holy shit, my jaw just hit floor. Trust your gut ladies!
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