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The original was posted on /r/bestofredditorupdates by /u/Direct-Caterpillar77 on 2025-01-30 05:00:01+00:00.
I am not The OOP, OOP is [deleted]
My [21 F] roommate and best friend [20 F] threw out my abortion pill and has generally gone insane. I have no idea what to do.
TRIGGER WARNING: abusive behavior, abortion, possible mental health crisis, destruction of property
Original Post May 6, 2014
My best friend Sarah and I have been (had been?) friends since she was a freshman and I was a sophomore at our college (about 2 years since I met her). We were assigned to be roommates and got along great and decided to room together for the next year (my junior year). We never had any problems before this and were inseparable. We are even in the same sorority and have the same major (nursing).
A few weeks ago, I found out I was pregnant by my boyfriend Harold [22 M] (we’ve been dating 1.5 years and he’s a wonderful man). We both discussed what to do and decided that abortion was the best choice for both of us. I decided to have a medical abortion and since Harold couldn’t drive me to the clinic because he had a final, Sarah agreed to go with me.
Sarah was originally very supportive and held my hand as I took the first pill in the office. She was in the room when the doctor explained that I should take the second pill after 24 hours and that I would have to do it at home.
Harold came over after his final and kept me company and spent the night. After a night of cramping and bleeding, I woke up yesterday morning to find that the second pill was missing from it’s pack. I put the pill on my nightstand so that I wouldn’t lose it. The pack was still there, but the pill was missing. Sarah is the only one with access to my room (we have separate rooms but share everything else).
I asked Harold if he had messed with the pill, and he said no. Why would he, if he doesn’t want this child any more than I do? So that left Sarah as a suspect, so I waited until she woke up to ask her about it.
That’s when she flipped her shit.
She started screaming at me how I was a baby killer and that she hopes I bleed out from the abortion. Then she told me that she had a dream that my child would grow up to cure Ebola (I could not make this up) and that she threw away my pill to protect my child, as well as the extra birth control packs I had gotten from the school nurse to last over the summer. She took photos and uploaded them to Facebook with the caption “OP is a baby killing whore who can’t keep her legs shut!”
Luckily, all of her friends and our sorority sisters instantly defended me and told her how crazy she was.
Reddit, I’m stuck in the same room as her for all of our summer classes, which will last until July. We are in the same sorority and will have to see each other twice a week until I graduate. Is there anything I can do legally? Is what she posted online illegal (she is a nursing major in clinicals)? I’m so fucking confused.
tl;dr: Went for a medical abortion, roommate flipped her shit and threw away my medication. We have to live together for the better part of the summer.
Edit: I’m cross posting this to /r/twoxchromosomes. I’ve already gotten another pill
Second Edit: Sorority just texted me. The last meeting of the year will be concerning Sarah’s violation of the sorority code of conduct. Apparently this is not the first time this has happened. Majority vote decides on whether she’s kicked out or not.
*Edit Three: I tried to update in another post, but the mods say I have to wait 48 hours as per the new rule. So you all will have to wait :) *
RELEVANT COMMENTS
OOP replying to a deleted comment
OOP
I’ve sent them emails already about it, but because it’s summer only one dorm building is open. Even if I switch rooms, I’ll still run into her. It’s a crappy situation.
We are both nursing students, and I know this is a violation of my medical privacy. I’ve thought about reporting her to the nursing board at our college so that she might be kicked out of the program (we all had to sign ethics pledges that directly involved this).
My sorority sisters are firmly on my side about this. They know I’ve been with Harold for a year and that I don’t sleep around (Sarah is the one whose reputation reflects badly on the sorority and it’s been brought up before). The cramps are actually almost non existent at the moment, but I’m not sure if that’s because I missed the second pill or not
[deleted]
“I’ve thought about reporting her to the nursing board at our college”
Don’t think about it - do it. What if you were her patient?
OOP
I’d probably punch her in the face if I were her patient. The only reason why I’m hesitant to report it to the nursing board is because I’m also a nursing student and there might be a huge backlash.
Her actions have proven that she is incapable of keeping medical information private and that she is unfit to be a nurse, so I might send it to the state board so that when she applies for her license she will be denied.
Update May 8, 2014
A lot of people asked me to update what happened, so here it is. The mods originally removed this update due to the 48 hour update rule, but enough people asked for me to post this that I will, and then I can finally delete this account. This is a direct copy/paste from the removed update and none of the major details have changed so far. Still no word from Sarah about this.
Edit: A lot of you think that I was too extreme, but there was nothing I could have done to make her get help. I miss my best friend more than any of you critics could ever realize. Don’t judge me for doing what was best for everyone involved, including myself. Her right to sympathy ended when she deliberately chose to steal from me, slander my name, destroy my laptop and possessions, and when she refused help from everyone who tried to help.
I will try to make this as clear as possible, even though I’m typing it during a work break.
Immediately after I posted on Reddit, a lot of you had the same advice to report her to the nursing board, residence life, the nursing department at our college, to the police, to the sorority, and to her parents. I decided to report her to all of the above while hiding at the sorority house.
Early yesterday morning was when Sarah made her Facebook post about me, and it took only until after lunch for my sorority sisters to start texting me like mad. This was not the first time that Sarah had shamed another sorority sister for having an abortion, and that particular woman (we will call her Emily) was one of the highest ranking members. Emily was the one who called the meeting to have Sarah kicked out for breach of the code of conduct (treat all your sisters kindly, support one another, no gossiping, etc).
Meanwhile, Residence Life was busy trying to contact Sarah’s parents after I showed them her facebook rants. After the sorority contacted Sarah, she flipped out yet again on Facebook and started to rant about how she wanted to die.
The RA on duty (also one of my good friends) had decided to go speak to her to see if they could help. At this point, it was clear to everyone that Sarah was not right in the head, because she was screaming at her through the door crack. Sarah refused to answer the door, so the RA decided to escalate it higher and no one saw Sarah until the sorority meeting.
The Sorority Meeting
At the meeting, everything seemed to be okay. Sarah was the last person to arrive and she just took her seat and acted normal. It was eerie to see her gush over everyone only hours after she pulled her stunt. Only about half of the sorority was present, but the president decided to proceed regardless. It only took two minutes for us to vote unanimously to kick her out. Emily sat next to me the whole time. To put it mildly, Sarah did not take this well. She turned bright red, spit on the ground in front of Emily and me, and ran out of the room screaming. We called campus police on her as she left.
After the Meeting
Sarah returned to our dorm room. The Res Life Administrator tried to speak to her, but she refused to answer the door for over 20 minutes. They had to call the police to kick down the door because she was holding the handle on the inside so they couldn’t unlock the door. The police showed up, kicked down the door, and found the dorm destroyed.
All the furniture had been smashed (or scratched if it was too heavy), the carpets were covered in food from the refrigerator, and she had painted random swear words on the wall in what looks like blood (but she had no scratches on her, so who knows where the blood came from). The found photos of Harold covered in lipstick in her purse (this wasn’t like a kiss mark from lipstick, but more like she used a lipstick to entirely cover Harold’s face like a crayon). She resisted the police trying to peacefully convince her to accompany them to the hospital. Sarah was taken to the hospital and charged (I’m not sure what the exact charges …
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