Probably not the first time this has made it’s rounds but this was the first time I’ve seen this story.
Edit: sorry, thought it included the link. https://dailynewsreported.com/positive-affirmations/woman-chases-jehovahs-witnesses-down-the-street-yelling-succumb-to-my-devil-vagina-magic/ I have to shamefully admit I ate the onion
My dad’s brother just kept answering the door naked and they stopped coming back. Her devil vagina magic might have worked if she was cute.
You can also chase them off your property by saying you’ve been excommunicated, and they’ll never come back.
No no, what you do is you ask them if they know why the church is making them go door to door. When they say “to spread the word of God” you correct them. “No, they know that going door to door won’t get new members of your church because doing so is rude. They want people to get mad at you and treat you poorly so that you run back to your church saying how mean everyone was. That’s when they pull YOU in closer. You’re being played.” It won’t save their souls from the cult, but it plants a seed of doubt. And if they go back and tell the church what you said, you’ll be put on a list of houses to not return to.
Considering that’s not the term they use, it would not be very effective. They would know you’re lying.
Since you didn’t actually provide a good response, it’s called disfellowshipped.
Thank you!!! I just need to figure out their term in Portuguese now and I’ll be golden here in Brazil and when I finally move in with my BFs in the USA
desassociação
As an organization that’s all about missionary work, they predictably very good with having a translation for everything to every language.
e.g. https://www.jw.org/en/library/magazines/w20150415/disfellowshipping-a-loving-provision/
Thank you very much!!! That is incredibly helpful!! Now I’m actually excited for the next time they come knocking! Shame I didn’t know this last sunday when they passed by my house, but now I know!!
Is that a mug shot? She was arrested for being the hero we all need?
No, it’s not real. The original source is a satirical news site. Sorry friends.
The original source is a satirical news site
Well, that would have been nice to know! LOL The screenshot and post gives no context of where this story came from.
Oh shit, you’re right. I thought it included the link but I fucking ate the onion :(
Smug shot
Or just ask them to put you on the “do not call” list and they shouldn’t bother you again for several years.
You could just tell them you’re an apostate.
Those they actively avoid.
Nah. Keep you religion to yourself, regardless of your religion, and especially at my residence during my personal time.
TST shouldn’t doorknock to spread the word about their services?!
Studies consistently show that devil vagina magic is the more effective solution.
I wish I could’ve participated in that study, I love magic!
DVM: *Pulls out seemingly endless scarves*
Me: *Claps gleefully*
DVM: *Makes my head spin around 3 times*
Me: I didn’t like that one as much
DVM: *Makes a quarter appear*
Me: I’m still dizzy from that last trick. Can you give me a second?
That face just screams “Do what you must, I’ve already won”.
Awesome
