Look at a map. Look right above Michigan. See that splotch of land right above Michigan? Yeah…that’s ALSO Michigan. It looks like it should be Wisconsin on account of how obvious it is. But no. Michigan is just like “This is also ours because we lost a war to Ohio and so now we need a consolation prize.”

Who the fuck did Wisconsin piss off to allow THAT SHIT??? Oh, just because we’re not officially a state yet, you’re taking our territory away??? The damn paperwork was already being drawn up with maps that CLEARLY included that land…because, obviously!

But noooooooooo! Michigan just had to be like “WAAAAH, WE WANTED OHIOS LAND AND LOST, SO NOW WE WANT THIS OTHER LAND INSTEAD!!!”

And the Wisconsin territory is supposed to just be like “Oh, yeah, cool cool cool.”

So I say, fight back! But, raising an army is hard and expensive. Plus, I don’t even know if there even stands a current protocol to follow for raising a regional military. Does that even exist anymore? So for the sake of not being accused of inciting violence, for the rest of this message, this war will be a TICKLE WAR!!!

Yeah! Wisconsin needs to gather all their citizens, and grab their feathers, because it’s time to tickle michigan!!! Make em giggle like little bitches!!! And then you get the land back! Then maps can stop looking stupid. There should never be a time that a map salesman should have to say “No, that actually is the official border. Nope, not a mistake.”