Except being in a relationship, of course.
This is somewhat related to my previous post… In my case, I was thinking “he seems like a pretty confident guy, maybe he’s not making a move cause he’s not interested”.
Maybe he looks more confident than he actually is, but I remember during university that guys would just do the most random things and say whatever and just make a move…
I think there’s no point in making a move myself
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No hard drugs. I used to not care, until I had a baby with a woman who struggled with addiction. Nobody wins in that situation especially not your baby. Fortunately I’ve remained clean, but she’s not around anymore and it sucks. So now I don’t get romantically involved with anyone that does hard drugs.
Some of us are weird - for a few examples, on top of being gay, I’ve passed on people that are not furries (it makes dating way easier, even if the pool of potential partners is a fraction of a fraction of what it could be). They might be looking for specific traits (nerdy, slender, glasses - yes please), they might be after someone they think is a good match for a poly relationship. They might have some wild kinks that most don’t share and so they are only looking in niche communities. There’s way, way more possibilities than ‘oh I guess they aren’t interested’. Hell, I’d pass on someone who drives a wasteful vehicle, or who has no interest in my biggest hobbies/topics, or even things that seem petty or insignificant (hairstyle for example - if I immediately want to change something about you, I’d be dating a changed version of you, not the real you). Shit, maybe they are not interested in anyone. Maybe they want someone only as a platonic partner, which again is hard to find so requires certain communities…
And some of us - myself included - hate the song and dance. Just ask them. What’s the worst that can happen, really? A moment of embarrassment? Versus a potential connection? This isn’t some magical fairytale fantasy land, not everyone sees exactly what others think. Remove the dance, remove the uncertainty, and just ask.
My partner and I started dating and found out we’re both furries later on. It was absolutely surreal.
Friend, let me be frank with you.
Every man is different, and we know next to nothing about this particular specimen. Many of us are terrible at interpreting signals, and confidence is only a small part of that.
Life is short. Ask him to his face if he’d like to do something later. What do you have to lose?
Thinking “she’s not interested anyway” (I’m a terrible judge of intentions and err on the side of caution). Though I doubt many people would confuse me with someone who is confident.
Also, handling rejection can easily ruin my day. It’s hard to move on from that if you don’t have any positive experiences with asking people out to offset the bad ones.
