36, frustrated, angry, bored, uninspired and stuck in a safe, boring, but tolerable dead end job. A job which I’ll be stuck doing for the next 30 years till retirement cause this is as far as I can go in my life. Failed and burned out from multiple business ventures, and have completely given up hope in building a successful business empire or doing anything of note period. I’ve resigned myself to my fate. My question is how to accept & cope with the misery that is my mediocre and boring life? Drugs? Alcohol? Criminal activity?
I worked hard to overcome addiction so I know what rock bottom is. I’ve got a roof, food, a job, and a sports car in the driveway.
Happiness is a choice, to a certain extent.
Glad you achieved that, but living the same life everyday without any power to change things isn’t my idea of happiness.
So, what is your definition of not happiness l, which is short-lived and fleeing, but of true contentment?
Hint, if you need ‘things’ to make you content aside the obvious necessities, chances are that you may be a bit wrong.
Not saying it is easy, but what would you like to do different?
My definition, not being a corporate wage slave drone for the rest of my life, retire and then die. Not have my youth wasted socially and economically. Work for myself building my own businesses in things that interest me. Be remembered for doing great things, have some kids I can pass a legacy onto. Make as much money as possible, get a Bugatti, live in Europe have a small mansion and land. Be well connected and around interesting people. That in a nutshell.
Would you actually need a Bugatti to be content? Like your life would somehow feel incomplete without one? Or is just a nice to have, sort of thing?
The wage slave part, I think, we all get. One of my biggest fears when I was young was to dread going to work every single morning or be staring at the clock due to hating the job, while waiting to get out. I had to make some really hard life decisions when I was young, as to avoid that.
When you say business, you mean being self-driven and self-sufficient? Or was there a specific type of business you wanted to do? Also, sorry to hear about the challenges, sure skills are a huge factor, but the one thing that gets overlook in stories of success is that there is a large chance or luck factor, as well. One can do everything right, and still fail. Specially if you do not have a cash windfall to back you up.
The being rembered is a good drive, but 99.99% of all people will not achieve that in the way most Invision it. You would have to be highly unique in some way, what are you unique at, if you do not mind me asking? I mean, being a good person and being truly loved by those that matter to you is a great way to be remembered. I guess, a question is of how would you want to be remembered or by whom? And if that is realistic.
Money is good for the safety and security aspect, sure. Some land is always good. But in my experience, going after money is mostly a fool’s errand. Since once you get in that treadmill, and it is a treadmill, there is no end to it. You will never have enough money, unless you have an exact amount, now, where you will stop at and that is doable/actionable. Or, you will never be fully satisfied by the money angle. There will always be more money that could be had. I have never met anyone who is driven by profit or money being content, aside some fleeing ego boost for bragging rights to shallow people. Ironically, money should usually be a side effect of living the life that you want, and not the main drive. Some of the most successful people that are worth remembering were usually not driven by money.
Aside very close or intimate relationships, depending on the acceptance of others as way to derive contentment is usually not advisable. Finding just interesting people is really not hard, specially in a large city, if you are just looking for interesting people and not ‘wealthy’ interesting people. Why do you want to be well connected? Favours? Bragging rights? FOMO?
What country in Europe, would you like to live in? Also, what of those things could you start doing now? I am a bit older than you and trust me, time flies. If you want kids you will have to get on that like, yesterday. One of my older best friends had a kid at 43, meeting his future wife a few years ealier, he spent a good chunk of his life building his career, he is now well off, but it dawn on him that by the time she is out of Uni, he will be 65+. He now wishes he could more time, than money, and I doubt he will try for a second kid. You may need to highly prioritise at least some of your goals. You may find that your list is a nice wishlist but that you do not actually need to have all of those things to be content. Also, I hardly ever seen, highly money or career driven people who are also good or great parents. There are simply not enough hours in a day, and just buying them expensive things is not good parenting. Two highly career driven parents is a recipe for badly adjusted kids, or even just two overworked parents.
It seems that you have a lot of goals, which are the 3 most important and vital ones to you?
There is often very little we can ever change except our attitude and expectations towards that which comes down the chute. Practicing acceptance, detaching from the fruits of one’s own labor (I don’t mean in an economic sense, but in an action and response sense, accepting failure and loss equally as you accept success and gain), and striving selflessly to improve the life’s of others you care about is the core of what gives your life meaning.