Nobody wants to pay wages anymore

Wait, you got dominos coupons?!

Are you now, or have you ever been, a Lemming?!

Nonsense, I was at the head office of Antifa North America Legion just the other day!

I don’t always have an ideal manual gravity turn going on, but when I do, I fire the staging in the wrong order.

The Orcas are learning

“Fire the Fox” would have been a better slogan

Better than none Schindlers and ten thousand and one monsters

It’s loss-less, not loss-none

Then we need to convince them to build more big red arrows to keep the blue stuff up the top

Great, I’m comin’ to be an annoying tourist now that I know 👍

Iceland?

It’s ok, some life will survive, but the human pests will be eradicated.

Richard Sanchez. Saw him with a minor, doing dodgy stuff. Maybe stealing, or attempting to steal something. Heavily drunk.

They say “penalty unit” so that each time they increase the fine amount, they only have to update the legislation in one place - the place where the value of a penalty unit is defined. Otherwise, every time the fine amount changes, they would have to recalculate all the penalties and update the legislation in hundreds of places with a new dollar amount.

Reddit users are revolting! But at least they are protesting Twitter too.

I work in software development. If it’s not written down, it never happened.

People are free to call me to discuss it, or schedule a meeting, but they will only ever activate my trap card: “Sounds fine, please put that in writing in an email so I can action it.”

“Oh, you recorded the meeting? No I don’t need a copy, but that will make it easy for you to listen back to it while you’re putting it in writing in an email.”

“Of course, you’re welcome to text me, but keep in mind, it needs to be in writing in an email so I can action it.”

“Mmm see, I’d really love to action that now, but it needs to be in writing in an email first. Company policy.”

I should know, I wrote that policy.

Fucks you up

Forget melatonin, I want to know wtf cheese is doing to my brain when I sleep on it.