I have a 16-year-old son. I’m in my early 30s (had him very young) and a professional footballer. My son also dreams of becoming a successful footballer (he’s been playing since he was 6), but he’s just… not great. He’s good, but not great - and in this extremely competitive industry you need to be at least great in order to even stand a chance. So I told him, as someone who’s been doing this for a very, very long time & is active in this sphere, that he should find another, more attainable dream. He took it as me not believing in him, but I’m just objective and realistic.
Same scenario with my son years back. He loved basketball and his skinny, 5ft 8" body was not going to propell him to NBA stardom. My wife accused me of crushing my son’s spirits. I never discouraged him from the sport and went to every high school and travel ball ($$$) game where he mostly sat on the bench. He’s in his 30s now and planning a family, so the dreams are different. I don’t think I did any lasting damage.
But, would I do it the same way again? It’s nuanced to be sure. We want our children to be prepared for their futures and excel, not wash out. What I would do is look for ways to help him discover, on his own, where his real talent lies and comes to the realization himself.l and be there to soften the blow to that dream. Then, if his passion is still football, help him discover all the different career options are available, on and off the field, that can keep him close to his passion.
I hope this helps. If you’re asking, you’re likely a better dad that many out there.
Oh, and his mother is a c#$t and I divorced her shitty ass. ;)
What a shitty comment. You’re bitching about spending money on your son and spending time with your (ex) wife. Someone as bitter as you probably shouldn’t be giving advice
Did the OP edit his post because your reply doesn’t match what he wrote at all?