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Cake day: October 8th, 2023

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  • Update Post: January 19, 2025 (5 days later, 1 month from first post)

    I just wanted to clarify some things.

    I only met my girlfriend’s parents for the first time late November 2024.

    The reason I picked them up from the airport instead of abandoning them or telling them to go find a hotel etc, was out of respect for my girlfriend and the relationship I want(ed) to have with her (and her parents).

    After the first meeting I had with her parents (in late November that I shared in my first post), I confronted my girlfriend. She apologized and eventually her mother did too. Basically, I thought we were past whatever suspicions and mistrust her mother had about me.

    Then this happened.

    In the last few days, since this began, I have realized some things about my relationship. My girlfriend has been trying to play both sides. She’ll tell me one thing and her parents another thing.

    She’s been hiding some deep trust issues about me and insecurities about our relationship… mostly her fears about me being unfaithful (I want to be clear that these fears are not because of anything that i’ve done, it’s just how she feels).

    She used her parents to convince me it wasn’t her craziness… and I am pretty sure she told her mom how she felt and her mom was willing to be in on it.

    I broke up with my girlfriend and asked her parents to leave.

    The friend’s wedding I went to hit different because of that… But it also made me realize how unhealthy and toxic my relationship was.

    I haven’t disclosed a lot… but I think I was in an abusive relationship. I am still struggling to accept… that? And there is some shame creeping up that I don’t understand… why is it there?

    Anyway. Thanks for all the messages. Sorry my writing skills aren’t that great. I’m so drained from this situation, I feel like I need to sleep for a month. I don’t even feel like writing about any of this but I felt I owed you the conclusion.

    Some of OOP’s Comments:

    Commenter: […] Please do not fold and take that woman back, under any circumstance.

    It sucks, but it is better to be finished with it all…

    Best of luck, OP.

    OOP: Promise that’s not happening. The breakup wasn’t smooth, and she became extremely verbally aggressive. She said a lot of things that can never be unsaid. No matter what happens now, and in spite of all the threats she’s been making, there’s no hope for reconciliation. I know when I get back it’s going to be crazy. I’m not looking forward to it.
    Editing this because I typo’d
    

    Commenter: Did the parents leave peacefully, or did they attempt to somehow extend their stay?

    OOP: They were dumbfounded. I don't expect them to understand my feelings, so I said the least. I talked to her dad privately and let him know first to arrange a hotel accommodation. I put it on my ex-girlfriend to explain it to them. I told them they can contact her, but I am asking them to leave.
    Also worth mentioning because it makes me angry (I wasn't able to express it in my previous post due to being in shock and distracted by other issues) but her parents have been to my country several times. Her mom has gotten tons of small procedures and treatments in my country so I'm not sure why all of a sudden they needed me as an escort. It seemed like she was trying to say she only comes to my country for her treatments but doesn't give a shit about anything else, so that's why she's unfamiliar? These people live in another world, I always feel like I'm going a little bit insane having any form of conversation with them.
    

    Commenter: Sounds like that trip was her parents checking up on him for her because of her insecurities. Glad he bailed on that shit.

    OOP: It was definitely to investigate me... I don't think I'll ever know what my ex-girlfriend and her mom were suspicious about. Did they think I'm secretly married or living some kind of a second life? I wouldn't be surprised if they tried to look into my employment history etc.
    I feel so stupid for the kindness I extended to them. I tried to be understanding of every transgression and let my girlfriend gaslight me into thinking I was just misunderstanding things because I didn't have parents growing up.
    




  • I just inherited a Python repo where every hundred lines or so, they added a ^L. What is a ^L? you ask. And I say that’s an excellent question. You see, a ^L is an ASCII standard for saying that if you print the plain text, you should split the content onto a new page here. That’s right, for years, a team of people strictly enforced that they consistently add ^Ls everywhere in case someone wanted to print the entire fucking repo onto paper.

    It’s an invisible character, it took me quite a while to figure out what it even was.







  • Artyom@lemm.eetoScience Memes@mander.xyzPhotons
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    15 days ago
    1. They’re traveling in a medium, so they move slower than in space
    2. Due to the random walk caused by multiple scattering, it can take millions of years for a photon to escape the sun after being produced in the core.

    You are right that they don’t gather energy, but they do multiply. What would be a single high energy x ray in the core will eventually downscatter into an army of optical photons.