He’s taken, and I’m obsessing. Something felt “right” the first time I laid eyes on him; it was like a gut feeling. I KNOW it’s ridiculous, but I just can’t turn off these feelings.

Of course, I can control my actions: I won’t do anything. But what can I do for myself? How can I feel better about this?

I’m stuck in this phase of my life, with no distractions other than burdens and obligations. 😥 He feels so intense, and I get weak around him. I try to avoid being near him, but when it happens, I bet he can tell. What can I do?

  • birretta@lemmy.worldOPEnglish
    0·
    5 days ago

    If you were in a relationship and knew someone who you’re not into was infatuated with you, how would you want them to act? I doubt you’d want them to pursue you or conversely treat you like toxic waste just to cope.

    And Thank you, this was great and I totally agree. My problem is that I get very very weird, and it’s the first time this has happened to me with someone. I turn red, try looking away, my whole body gets weird, totally “weak in the knees” type of thing. I just feel the need to escape the situation and whatever I try to do (avoid him/calm down/be nice…) it just makes me feel worse

    • Soleos@lemmy.worldEnglish
      0·
      5 days ago

      Ahh, I see. Pardon my assumption, but your phrasing does suggest to me that you might be younger/teenage–are teens on Lemmy now? Out of an abundance of caution, I’d recommend you try talking to someone a bit closer to you that you trust, like a counselor, older friend, or parent as this does get into a more sensitive topic. Talking to randoms on the internet can be helpful, but also very risky as it’s wild out here and there are all kinds of predators let alone bad advice. I don’t know what your life circumstance is and counselors/parents aren’t perfect either, but it’s usually a much safer starting place. Use your head, verify what you hear.

      If you’re an adult, totally apologize. I hope you’d agree with with my caution.

      • birretta@lemmy.worldOPEnglish
        0·
        5 days ago

        I’m 27 unfortunately… English is not my first language, if that’s what you referred to by phrasing. I hope it’s not bc of my situation, but I’d get it haha

        • Soleos@lemmy.worldEnglish
          0·
          5 days ago

          Ahh that makes sense, your English is is very correct, just harder to tell with more reserved English speakers. Your situation is certainly very normal and not at all unique to younger folks!

          I guess another pragmatic thing people do sometimes is, if they know they’re going to see someone they get weird about, they’ll leverage their refractory period so it’s less intense when they meet.