cross-posted from: https://lemmy.ml/post/28878325
In the last 4 weeks I’ve worked with several people over 60 and I don’t like what I saw: slow giving report or describing a problem, fixation on trivialities about a client’s appearance or something funny he did instead of getting directly to the point and doing our jobs, incapable of coping with new forms of communication, feeling they are your supervisor, even though they’re not, criticizing you for ‘wasting’ paper or erasers, telling you how they dislike other coworkers, even though I just met this person 2 hours ago, acting as if only their way of doing things is the right one, then they pretend to be your friend and ask questions about your personal life which I deflect as good as I can.
I don’t like working with people like this, it’s very draining and I don’t want to become this kind of person.
How do I make sure not to become this kind of person?
Stay curious about the world around you and improving your arsenal of skills. Skills and knowledge are the one thing nobody can take away from you, and that you only get through hard work and dedication to a craft or multiple crafts.
Get into and out of new things all the time, or focus on one new thing until you run it into the ground. Do whatever your excitement leads you.
Learning about new technologies, playing with them and practicing with them are the core of what keeps us sharp and young. You’re only old once you start believing you have everything figured out.
When ai starts taking off more then it is now, and or more movies are made with it. Over time whether you are willing to learn about how these movies were made or even willingness to watch them could be a good test of your willingness to learn about new things. In the context of adopting / willingness of adopting or consuming new things. This is a good test I think for the next decades ahead.
You’ve already done it. You noticed the behavior in others. Just keep an eye on yourself and find better ways to respond to changing situations.
Do shit. Do shit you don’t know how to do and figure it out.
And don’t give up if you make a mistake. Learning from a mistake is a great way to become better.
Don’t act your age. Get to a point where you’re so dismissive of your age you have to think hard about what your age actually is.
If I stopped and started doing things based on what I’m meant to do at an age, I’d be a miserable piece of shit. I just do and think what I want. When I’m 60, I’ll still be learning and doing what I want because I rejected the idea that I’m too old or too young for something.
Rather than setting sights on what you want to achieve, set sights on what you never want to become. The rest just flows around that and happiness is always there because you’ve identified what unhappiness is and stayed clear of it.
I fully expect you to go snowboarding naked when you’re 60.
Except, don’t do that. That’s dangerous for your health at any age. You need insulating clothing to keep warm!
Oh, I will. I’m getting along in years and am about to pick up split boarding for backcountry. I could learn to just ski, but I’ve lived life surfing and skating, so I picked up snowboarding real fast and been doing that a while now.
Kinda always been into the idea of towing with a snow mobile too, so maybe I can afford that around then haha
How do I make sure not to become this kind of person?
Just focus on that and you’re good.
There are two ways to do “bad things” 1. you’re not aware of them being bad (because you never question yourself), 2. you are aware, but you excuse them somehow.
You have already cleared 1., all you need to do now, is to remain strict with yourself to never do excuse your own bad behavior.
And to be clear, I don’t mean to constantly blame yourself, I mean “finding excuses to do the bad thing anyway, because this time is an exception”. And it’s also fine to give up on this later if you find you can’t keep it up. It would be disappointing, but any effort in this direction is good, don’t let it dominate you.
Also, practice harmless small talk. If your colleague is talking drama, try to shift the discussion and bring up their pet or hobby or something.
then they pretend to be your friend and ask questions about your personal life which I deflect as good as I can.
I’m sure you can find some old boring topic that you find moderately interesting but can talk for hours on? Just use that. Comic book art, a particular species of flower you keep in a pot, 14th century mongolian music, idk.
Read books.
And with it, less reading on Lemmy, more reading real books :)
Reading is the best simple advice.
Reading will keep the mind agile because it
- builds empathy, you will be less likely to disregard other ways of doing things
- gives perspective
- is an active way to learn which makes learning other things feel less arduous. In other words you are giving yourself one less reason to become jaded
The reasons go on and can be explained better. I recommend finding out about it and making reading a habit because the benefits, while not immediately obvious, are incredible and everyone should do it.
I think working on your emotional intelligence will help. You won’t have such a hard time accepting new facts into your life when you don’t feel like your life depends on it. Idk if I get my point across
That’s really easy. Never let go of the joy of learning, and take pride in admitting your mistakes.
It’s that simple. When you’re told there’s another way, your first reaction should be curiosity
i think that it’s important for us to know what approximate age you are. it’ll help us gauge perspective.
edit - it would also help to know if this is your first job. any more context would help a lot if you want the best advice.
edit 2 - what industry are you going into?
edit 3 - if you don’t answer me, the answer is CONFIDENCE (for now). it doesn’t matter who you choose to be, but people will always pick holes in it if you aren’t absolutely sure. but what else does that mean? will you be open to change, or do you think you’ll always be perfect?
I’ve seen the same thing in some people over 60. The ones that don’t do this are the ones that continue to embrace new ideas, read, travel to experience other cultures, and learn/speak additional languages.
I don’t know if there is a magic formula to avoid the fate you’re describing. I’m doing what I’m seeing those that don’t fall into that trap do.
Learning a new language, and with it, a new way to see the world, is a true life hack.
Yeah. Growth mindset, open to change, and not fixating on “our generation was the best” mentality
