i just broke up with my ex and he used to do that a lot while we dated so i was wondering how common that was? i mean trying to start the conversation or saying something important, not just saying “bye” or something, and I don’t mind my friends leaving me on read I think but not my partner, idk why.
Heavily context dependent, I’d say. In a vacuum, it’s not that unusual. The entire purpose of text is that you don’t have to respond immediately. If it happens constantly, then maybe it would have been worth figuring out why that keeps happening. Maybe he dislikes you, or maybe he’s just busy.
It seems you already understand that, though. So perhaps the more informative question is why you feel the way that you feel towards your ex. Frankly, it’s probably some level of infatuation (or as I call it, puppy love). It’s not intrinsically bad, but it does tend to drive people to have unrealistic expectations for their partners, which can drive conflict once those expectations become established
thank you!! we broke up for other reasons, thankfully
It’s natrual to want to interact a lot in new relationships, but as someone who’s been with their partner for 8 years we leave each other on read all the time, same as i would for my friends.
It’s not a big deal, but feels like it when you can’t stop thinking about the person.
thank you so much! we broke up but thankfully not for leaving each other on read :) tysm!
Sometimes a message doesn’t warrant a response. My wife sends me links to stuff online, I don’t reply to those. Personally I hate communicating with my smartphone so I tend not to reply to people who message me on it
Why on earth do people say ‘on read’ instead of ‘unread’?
Also, in answer, it’s not uncommon. People are busy, or they don’t like texting, or they just want some quiet. Loads of reasons.
“On read” is the opposite of “unread” , i.e. the message has been seen and read, but not replied to
No, not usually for a lot. It sounds like he didn’t wanna talk to you. I have high doubts he was “just busy” all that time.
I find the very idea of being “left on read” ridiculous. I am not entitled to the immediate or even incidental attention of every person whose phone number I happen to posses. Maybe it’s because I started dating at a time and place when not seeing or hearing from your significant other for a week was perfectly normal, but putting an emotional valuation on a read receipt seems well out of the category of mentally healthy.
fair enough
No, even if it’s just to acknowledge I read it. I use the thumbs up.
I’ve learned it’s socially responsible to acknowledge or respond.
What’s “on read”?
reading a message and not replying
Depends on the context. I’ll often not reply to my wife if I can’t think of anything or it doesn’t really require a response.
From what you wrote it probably wouldn’t be normal.
My wife will send me photos of like spiders and snakes which is fun but after the tenth photo I’ll probably reply a bit slower
what about “hi? how are you?” or “I love you so much <3”
to be fair, he never knew what to say in our relationship, he was basically a man of a few words.
that makes sense, I didn’t send a lot of messages to him, I acknowledge that he doesn’t “wanna talk to me 24/7 or every day”
If I know someone actively wants a response then I’ll give one because I’m not a dick. From your examples it’s pretty clear you wanted one.
Life’s too short to feel neglected
Y’all don’t disable read receipts?
Step one on new phone for anyone with ADHD. Otherwise the social costs are too high
I just use read receipts as an automatic thumbs up reactions. I think it works that way precisely because you have to manually enable it.
Depends on how long and how often I think. If it was just 5min sometimes that’s fine, if it’s more than that or regularly it’s at least weird and at most a dick move.
almost every day or every other day for hours “I don’t wanna talk to you 24/7 every day!!”
my s/o hardly ever leaves me on read unless he’s busy or going to sleep. this sound exactly what one of my abusers/bullies said sooo…
Usually I’d agree it’s an asshole thing to do, but sounds like OP’s ex was clear they “didn’t want to talk 24/7”.
There’s probably more to this story.
read their previous posts
sometimes? probably busy
always? he doesn’t wanna talk. im glad you quit chasing him either way, from previous posts he sounds toxic.
tysm!!
Idk what others will say, but imo no. From my experience, someone who leaves you on read is either busy a lot, doesn’t wanna talk, or hates you. If it’s the latter, he didn’t wanna date you or be your friend anyway.
I can say that I don’t remember my girlfriend ever leaving me on read. If she did, she was busy, and she would respond as soon as she could.
thanks!!!
