I couldn’t believe my eyes seeing this advice to teach young boys to hit girls so as to restore the boys’ self esteem and pride.

This is the kind of toxic belief that shouldn’t be allowed to proliferate here and yet is embraced with open arms by other users.

That boys can only regain their pride and self esteem by hitting girls leads directly to more violence against women and girls.

  • cynar@lemmy.worldEnglish
    52·
    8 days ago

    Neither should, both can and do.

    However, from a lot of parents, with boys, the “do NOT hit girls” message is massively amplified.

    Both genders will break the rules, to some extent. When a boy does it to them, by hitting, they can respond, if required. A girl who does the same can find a convenient physical and emotional punching bag, when the “do not hit girls” training ends up locking up their defensive response.

      • cynar@lemmy.worldEnglish
        42·
        8 days ago

        Hitting back can include shoving away, and defensive blocks.

        My minion was learning to use and moderate themselves at around that age. They started martial arts not long after. I would never punish or argue against proportionate self defense. Even if it’s just to signal that it’s not appropriate play, and an adult’s attention is needed ASAP.

        • velma@sh.itjust.worksOP
          26·
          8 days ago

          I don’t know why you’re trying to argue with me and nitpick about how society views boys and girls hitting differently.

          This comment is pushing that this little boy can regain his self-esteem and pride by hitting this little girl. And that comment was pretty highly upvoted when I came across it.

          That’s it. That’s the issue. The users on this site love to glorify men and boys using violence against women and girls.

          • cynar@lemmy.worldEnglish
            53·
            8 days ago

            I read it as an adult trying to decide how to deal with a little girl assaulting their son. The first mover violence seems to have come from a girl, and was met, ineffectively with passivity.

            How should a boy respond to being assaulted by a girl?

            • velma@sh.itjust.worksOP
              25·
              8 days ago

              How should a boy respond to being assaulted by a girl?

              These are 4-5 year old children.

              I’m not taking this lame ass bait.

              • cynar@lemmy.worldEnglish
                52·
                8 days ago

                Your complaining about the advice to that question. I actually wanted to know what you thought they should do.

                I’ve been through that age of parenting. That’s the age where those discussions should start. If you don’t have them, then the child will fill in the gaps best they can. Their conclusions can vary wildly from what we would call reasonable, when that happens.

                I taught them that they were allowed to block and to push the other child away, if they didn’t stop. They were then expected to immediately get an adult involved. Punching and kicking weren’t allowed.

                • velma@sh.itjust.worksOP
                  34·
                  8 days ago

                  You’re acting like I’m not a parent as well lol

                  I’m not taking the bait. 4-5 year olds are very capable of learning conflict resolution that doesn’t involve hitting back to regain pride.