Here is something that really fucked me up for a while: I didn’t think I had major sensory issues but because I am an independent adult with a neurodivergent spouse, we had just eliminated all that from our lives.
Do shirt tags bother me? No, but I haven’t bought clothes with a tag in years.
Do certain garments bother me? No, the fact that the only pants I can tolerate are sweats (at home) or jeans (with stretchy fibre content) was camouflaged by those being the only pants I ever wear.
Can food touch? Yes? But I won’t enjoy eating if the cold sauce is mixed in with the hot food. I also almost never eat in public/with other people because I am gluten free and vegan so I very rarely eat food that isn’t prepared by me, which has been the case for years ☠️
If you’ve been self- accommodating for so long, you may not realize that you are doing it.
I don’t think I have any clothing issues, except I must have a shirt pocket. That used to be less true, but I highly preferred one most of my adult life because I bucked the “uncool” trend and liked having a pocket protector for my pens. Then I got glasses, and having a shirt pocket was necessary for that. Now I’m a wheelchair users and pockets on shorts/pants are unusable, so shirt pockets are a must. Although I’ve always tended to buy mulitples of something I found that works because it works and was consistent. heh.
Food touching is generally not a thing I tolerate. Much less mixing food. lol. I mean, something like biscuits and gravy or rice and beans is one thing, but I see people make things like “thanksgiving sandwiches” and I can’t do that. I want to enjoy each thing for what it is. And preferably not mixed. I will gladly use multiple bowls to help ensure that does not happen. lol.
But none of that (except I think the food touching was the single exception) seemed to pop up on the assessment tests I was doing. lol.
It helped explain some things about my wife - has helped us both. The ADHD diagnosis was much more helpful. I’d like to know either way, but it’s not the end of the world either way :)
Honestly, I’m not overly worried about it. If I do and got a diagnosis, it might help bring a little more understanding, but the ADHD explains most of my problems (and strengths). lol. So I’ll probably continue to waffle a bit.
But knowing my wife has it for sure helps. We’ve definitely made some adjustments that just make sense now.
My dad almost certainly has ADHD but never got a diagnosis. In his case, it’s more like my possible autism - if he does have ADHD which we’re all (including him) pretty convinced, he managed to mask / cope well enough throughout his life - a diagnosis seems like a “whatever why bother”.
Sorry to spend all this time talking about myself, it’s ADHD verbosity. But I find everyone else as interesting as myself, too! :)
Speaking of which, your comment made me smile. No matter the exact mix of stuff, it does seems like a lot of us find each other, one way or another. lol. That’s why my wife and I married - half a decade before our diagnosis - because we were the only people laughing at each others’ jokes. lol
Sorry to spend all this time talking about myself, it’s ADHD verbosity. But I find everyone else as interesting as myself, too! :)
Something I love about this community is that we can be ourselves. I think people here are understanding that what you are describing is one way ADHD/autistic people express empathy and connect with each other. No need to qualify it!
Here is something that really fucked me up for a while: I didn’t think I had major sensory issues but because I am an independent adult with a neurodivergent spouse, we had just eliminated all that from our lives.
Do shirt tags bother me? No, but I haven’t bought clothes with a tag in years.
Do certain garments bother me? No, the fact that the only pants I can tolerate are sweats (at home) or jeans (with stretchy fibre content) was camouflaged by those being the only pants I ever wear.
Can food touch? Yes? But I won’t enjoy eating if the cold sauce is mixed in with the hot food. I also almost never eat in public/with other people because I am gluten free and vegan so I very rarely eat food that isn’t prepared by me, which has been the case for years ☠️
If you’ve been self- accommodating for so long, you may not realize that you are doing it.
Hmm. Well, that gives me things to consider. lol.
I don’t think I have any clothing issues, except I must have a shirt pocket. That used to be less true, but I highly preferred one most of my adult life because I bucked the “uncool” trend and liked having a pocket protector for my pens. Then I got glasses, and having a shirt pocket was necessary for that. Now I’m a wheelchair users and pockets on shorts/pants are unusable, so shirt pockets are a must. Although I’ve always tended to buy mulitples of something I found that works because it works and was consistent. heh.
Food touching is generally not a thing I tolerate. Much less mixing food. lol. I mean, something like biscuits and gravy or rice and beans is one thing, but I see people make things like “thanksgiving sandwiches” and I can’t do that. I want to enjoy each thing for what it is. And preferably not mixed. I will gladly use multiple bowls to help ensure that does not happen. lol.
But none of that (except I think the food touching was the single exception) seemed to pop up on the assessment tests I was doing. lol.
Blast. I thought I’d laid this one to rest. lol
Whether or not you are autistic only matters if it matters to you, comrade. You can lay it to rest if you want to.
It helped explain some things about my wife - has helped us both. The ADHD diagnosis was much more helpful. I’d like to know either way, but it’s not the end of the world either way :)
My spouse and I both sought formal diagnosis last year. I had been on ADHD meds for two years by then and he has not been on any.
I went for ADHD and Autism and he did ADHD only. One year later he’s like, um, I guess I’m autistic too eh?
Sharing in case it makes any thing feel more ‘normal’.
Honestly, I’m not overly worried about it. If I do and got a diagnosis, it might help bring a little more understanding, but the ADHD explains most of my problems (and strengths). lol. So I’ll probably continue to waffle a bit.
But knowing my wife has it for sure helps. We’ve definitely made some adjustments that just make sense now.
My dad almost certainly has ADHD but never got a diagnosis. In his case, it’s more like my possible autism - if he does have ADHD which we’re all (including him) pretty convinced, he managed to mask / cope well enough throughout his life - a diagnosis seems like a “whatever why bother”.
Sorry to spend all this time talking about myself, it’s ADHD verbosity. But I find everyone else as interesting as myself, too! :)
Speaking of which, your comment made me smile. No matter the exact mix of stuff, it does seems like a lot of us find each other, one way or another. lol. That’s why my wife and I married - half a decade before our diagnosis - because we were the only people laughing at each others’ jokes. lol
Something I love about this community is that we can be ourselves. I think people here are understanding that what you are describing is one way ADHD/autistic people express empathy and connect with each other. No need to qualify it!
Hah, well, you know how it is - masking and apologizing becomes instinct. Thank you for the lovely reminder <3