You’re beautiful. But your honker? Needs work. M. Trilety brings you the latest in schnozzle improvement tech. Here’s a surviving example of his snifferoni adjuster, which in no way resembles an inquisition device.
Mr. Trilety’s products were not exclusive to the US. Londoners pursuing proboscis perfection? Here you go.
Snout improver Instructions, from a University of Buffalo historical collection.
Trilety would also sell you a fix for your bow legs.
OK, I’m now officially volunteering to be the first human being to be send to Mars. Even without a ticket back… even more so without one.
Hmm. How much do you like potatoes?
A lot (there are lot of ways to prepare them) and, watching the movie, I’ve taken copious notes on how to make them grow on the surface of Mars, worry not ;)
I’ll go with you. I’ve always wanted to be shot in a craft perpendicular to the plane of orbit, since we haven’t really launched anything that direction. In a few hundred thousand years, the craft might be getting far enough to get an image of the milky way from above, which would be pretty neat even if I’m long dead. I’d probably be the farthest human from a star ever, for another million years or more until intergalactic travel happens (if it even can).
But I’d take mars at this point, too.
I got curious. Super hand wavy, but our galaxy is about 1000 light years thick way out where we are, and maybe 8500 in the center. You’d want some distance from the disk, so let’s say 10000 LY total distance for a sweet panorama. (I suspect you’d want more, ideally, since it’s 88,000 LY in diameter).
New Horizons is around 14 km/s heliocentric after its Pluto approach. That won’t cut it for galactic escape, so you’ll need to figure how to hit about 550 km/s. Say you work that out. You’ll slow down as you go, so let’s say you average 250 km/s in the galactic reference frame.
That works out to around 12,000,000 years. Maybe you can arrange more gravity assists from other stars too, and cut that down some. Although, since you’ll be dead, you could also just take your time.