(Washington, DC) It has been a lightning 10 days for the trump administration, as policy changes are rippling through government with a clear mandate to end what republicans view as preferential treatment of gays, transexuals, and minorities. And as these measures play out, a large number of shocked conservatives are finding that these measures, intended to hurt the groups they fear, are having immediate effects on them and their families.
“I’m 32, I work out every day, I have a wife and 3 kids,” said one midwestern man. “I drive a truck, and that tattoo right there is on installments. But I was employed 8 months at a federal job, and now I’m looking to be furloughed if not straight out fired. We were supposed to be hurting the gays. Am I gay? Is president trump telling me I’m gay? I’m confused, man.”
This confusion is becoming widespread, as virile men and strong women around the US come to terms with the challenging fact that policies they felt would hurt these specific groups are targeting them. “I suppose I could wear a dress,” said one North Dakota solar installer laid off due to proposed tariffs. “Maybe something that shows off my heels, assuming I wore heels. Man, this is confusing… I just can’t believe I’m gay. Maybe I can start in a flannel dress and go from there? When trump said he was going to start a movement, I kinda thought he just meant bigger mud flaps, not awakening things in me.”
But not all groups are despondent with the new changes. Baron Quaydal, a gay business owner in Cincinnati, sees some good in the changes. “There used to be a stigma about judging by sexual orientation, but the new administration took all this away. I’ve fired all my straight employees and a few of the bisexual low performers. Even Keith,” he sighed. “Man that’s one rehire I’d like to make, if you catch my meaning.”
“At least I know my taxes are going down,” he noted.
Social scholars, many now concerned for their jobs, have a wry - some would say sarcastic - take on the confusion. “Yep,” said one. “Gay gay gay. You’re all gay, and the sooner you catch on, the sooner you can say ‘I love president trump’ with your whole heart.”
I knew it had to be the onion, because when would conservatives ever have a sense of self awareness, and introspectiveness?
Conservatives get a bad rap. It’s not anti-gay, it’s just don’t-be-gay-because-god-will-hate-you. I’m aware that god doesn’t love cock-suckers. So I don’t. And neither should you. Pretty sure that ‘introspectiveness’ isn’t a word, but it’s better than sucking cock. God bless you.
Missed 2/3 capitalizations of the God you’re forcing the opinions of onto others.
Are you a disrespectful believer or a newly unrestrained American hater using faith as a scapegoat?
I’m a disrespectful non-believer
Ever heard the phrase “mind your own business”? To people who don’t believe the same as you, you’re just waffling nonsense, believe what you want, stay out of people’s lives. It’s really easy.
I don’t understand why you people get so offended. If I believed in some ridiculous thing, and someone came along and said "that’s nonsense,’ I wouldn’t be offended. I’d sort of expect that. But you just get so riled up about it. Also, stay the fuck out of my life. Stop voting.
What about my response implied I was offended? I’m not gay or religious or even American so the “stop voting” comment is stupid. I just don’t like seeing religious people telling others how to live their lives, LGBTQ can’t even exist without being hated by supposedly “loving Christians”. “Stay the fuck out of my life” what? This is a public discussion and I was responding? No one made you comment here lmao
Edit: why did you delete your original comment? You don’t stand for your beliefs? You don’t think calling all gay people “cock-suckers” is being a decent Christian?
I don’t remember the original comment, but it was something poking fun at how many male “Christians” secretly love sucking cock. You and I both know that god doesn’t like that. “Stay the fuck out of my life” was a direct response to your comment, “stay out of people’s lives.” You don’t seem very bright, shockingly, so maybe just stick to bible study groups and stop arguing with people on the internet about your ridiculous beliefs.
No it wasn’t, it was saying “god doesn’t like cock-suckers so I don’t like cock-suckers” there was no “poking fun” you were just being mean. You deleted it to change the narrative, very fitting. “You and I both know” no we don’t, you believe, but you know nothing. Maybe you should read the bible for once, it might change your opinion, the bible would actually tell you to “love thy neighbour”, something the modern day Christian seems to really struggle with.
I didn’t expect you to understand satire, it’s ok. Sounds like you’re changing the narrative now to being someone trying to be sympathetic to the person they were angrily arguing with and insulting. Classic Christian. You don’t know, but I have a lot of experience with your people. The delusion, the blame shifting. It’s just whatever suits you whenever it suits you, right? Reality is a construct. There is no truth. MAGA 2056, right?
You’re a silly troll, learn to read and you’d see I said I’m not religious or American. Hilarious you’ve just called out your own activity in this convo and tried to flip it on me. Keep deleting comments coward.