I would just say to the original poster you better truly know the person you’re thinking that way about because you really can piss someone off with this mentality
Hah, sorry, I was asking in the interest of learning specifically what you meant by that.
If someone has surprised me with little gifts or is thoughtful about my life, I would try to return those sentiments. It’s touching for others to care for you in those ways and, to me, it would feel callous to not try to return that energy at least a little bit.
What scenarios would it piss someone off, do you think?
I know its a hard mentality to accept but I agree with these other people. You need to know if they actually want it. You need to really know why they do it to begin with. Someone who always cooks for other might just hate everyone else’s cooking. Someone who plans things might hate surprises. Some people who help others domitmto prove to everyone they dont need help themselves.
You could seriously piss someone off by following this meme.
And you’ve completely ignored the conversation in here around tailoring the care back to the person who needs it. It’s good to care about the people who are caring for you and meeting them where they’re at or giving them back what they need.
Taking a meme that is simply a reminder to care about the people in your life that care for others and getting fucking pissy about it is the most terminally online thing I’ve seen this week, goddamn.
The top comments section in here is so weird. It’s like those most offended by this light hearted meme have an emotional baggage of sorts that they can’t not apply and take this meme super seriously.
(Also who’s taking this as life advice and applying zero context to it to their loved ones?)
As a planner: it’s also great to have friends who also plan. I share a rotation of holiday parties with a few friends who enjoy hosting. And is it totally random who gets Halloween? Yeah, that’s fine, sometimes life is rolling with the punches. Sometimes it’s fun to not play host and sometimes it’s okay to give someone else the joy of hosting or planning.
And as a friend of another planner/gift giver, of whom I know loves any surprise gift, I occasionally surprise her with small, thoughtful gifts and it really makes her day.
Iono where everyone else’s heads are or what their damage is but lol. I get you.
Its good to treat people well and how you want to be treated. Just make sure its wanted on their end.
If people don’t want things in return and the people in their life recognize that and honor that desire, then they are following the meme.
It’s about tuning in to the people in your life and making sure you’re caring for people who care for others. If they prefer to be ignored, then that is still caring for them by ignoring them.
You can really piss someone off by trying to be considerate and take care of them, too?
I’ve had limited exposure to disabled people. One of the things “they” teach you about disabled people is not to assume they need help for this that or the other. Ask them if they need it.
This doesn’t just apply to disabled people though. Before you stick your hand in, it’s a good idea to ask the person “do you want help with that”. Sometimes too many cooks spoil the broth, and you don’t want to hinder someone when you’re trying to be helpful.
Also with kids, it’s the other way around. Make them do things and help them as little as possible so they learn, grow and adapt.
Ok but the meme isn’t talking about disabled people. It’s talking about noticing when others are caring for you and returning that care in the way they may need the most.
This doesn’t just apply to disabled people though. Before you stick your hand in, it’s a good idea to ask the person “do you want help with that”. Sometimes too many cooks spoil the broth, and you don’t want to hinder someone when you’re trying to be helpful.
come on gal. please read. the idea is the lesson learned is a transferable social skill.
I didn’t ignore your comment and communicating with others about how they want to be cared for is important. I noted that. I think some people are reading too far into the meme when it’s simply pointing out that people who care for others also need to be cared for by others.
You don’t need to call me “gal” here. I’m not your buddy.
I didn’t ignore your comment and communicating with others about how they want to be cared for is important
I interpreted your comment as the opposite.
You don’t need to call me “gal” here.
I wanted to use a turn of phrase, but had to change the gender. Unfortunately we haven’t had pleasant interactions in the past, but this kind of speech is casual and expressive. I think you would prefer me talking to you with the phrase “come on gal” instead of “come on man”, which is what I’d use for someone who is male/non-gendered, as it’s an exasperated statement.
I think you would prefer me talking to you with the phrase “come on gal” instead of “come on man”, which is what I’d use for someone who is male/non-gendered, as it’s an exasperated statement.
Or you could avoid gendered expressions to begin with.
Or you could avoid gendered expressions to begin with.
If you want people to use genderless expressions when they are feeling exasperated by your behaviour, at least provide them with equal quality words.
I’m frustrated with what you’re saying, and I want to say “pay attention man”. the non-gendered variations would be “pay attention fucker” and because we’ve had less than stellar interactions before, I am trying to be polite.
I would just say to the original poster you better truly know the person you’re thinking that way about because you really can piss someone off with this mentality
You can really piss someone off by trying to be considerate and take care of them, too?
Absolutely
Hah, sorry, I was asking in the interest of learning specifically what you meant by that.
If someone has surprised me with little gifts or is thoughtful about my life, I would try to return those sentiments. It’s touching for others to care for you in those ways and, to me, it would feel callous to not try to return that energy at least a little bit.
What scenarios would it piss someone off, do you think?
I know its a hard mentality to accept but I agree with these other people. You need to know if they actually want it. You need to really know why they do it to begin with. Someone who always cooks for other might just hate everyone else’s cooking. Someone who plans things might hate surprises. Some people who help others domitmto prove to everyone they dont need help themselves.
You could seriously piss someone off by following this meme.
And you’ve completely ignored the conversation in here around tailoring the care back to the person who needs it. It’s good to care about the people who are caring for you and meeting them where they’re at or giving them back what they need.
Taking a meme that is simply a reminder to care about the people in your life that care for others and getting fucking pissy about it is the most terminally online thing I’ve seen this week, goddamn.
The top comments section in here is so weird. It’s like those most offended by this light hearted meme have an emotional baggage of sorts that they can’t not apply and take this meme super seriously.
(Also who’s taking this as life advice and applying zero context to it to their loved ones?)
As a planner: it’s also great to have friends who also plan. I share a rotation of holiday parties with a few friends who enjoy hosting. And is it totally random who gets Halloween? Yeah, that’s fine, sometimes life is rolling with the punches. Sometimes it’s fun to not play host and sometimes it’s okay to give someone else the joy of hosting or planning.
And as a friend of another planner/gift giver, of whom I know loves any surprise gift, I occasionally surprise her with small, thoughtful gifts and it really makes her day.
Iono where everyone else’s heads are or what their damage is but lol. I get you.
You seem to be getting as equally pissed over the other side of the same non issue.
Its good to treat people well and how you want to be treated. Just make sure its wanted on their end.
If people don’t want things in return and the people in their life recognize that and honor that desire, then they are following the meme.
It’s about tuning in to the people in your life and making sure you’re caring for people who care for others. If they prefer to be ignored, then that is still caring for them by ignoring them.
I’m a planner because I don’t like surprises or blown timelines. If I want something I’ll just buy it.
You enjoy that stuff so great we all don’t which is why I said what I said
The meme is talking about consideration as well, not just physical gifts, but ok.
I think the message is more about thinking of the other people in your life that care about you.
I’ll pass on the outward expression of that too.
You don’t like people caring about you?
I’m so confused about your reaction to a meme that is simply encouraging the “golden rule” - treat others how you want to be treated lol
I don’t like to outward expression if that sentiment
My only area comment about the meme was just know the person your having those feeling for well, the rest was you asking me questions.
I’ve had limited exposure to disabled people. One of the things “they” teach you about disabled people is not to assume they need help for this that or the other. Ask them if they need it.
This doesn’t just apply to disabled people though. Before you stick your hand in, it’s a good idea to ask the person “do you want help with that”. Sometimes too many cooks spoil the broth, and you don’t want to hinder someone when you’re trying to be helpful.
Also with kids, it’s the other way around. Make them do things and help them as little as possible so they learn, grow and adapt.
Ok but the meme isn’t talking about disabled people. It’s talking about noticing when others are caring for you and returning that care in the way they may need the most.
come on gal. please read. the idea is the lesson learned is a transferable social skill.
I didn’t ignore your comment and communicating with others about how they want to be cared for is important. I noted that. I think some people are reading too far into the meme when it’s simply pointing out that people who care for others also need to be cared for by others.
You don’t need to call me “gal” here. I’m not your buddy.
I interpreted your comment as the opposite.
I wanted to use a turn of phrase, but had to change the gender. Unfortunately we haven’t had pleasant interactions in the past, but this kind of speech is casual and expressive. I think you would prefer me talking to you with the phrase “come on gal” instead of “come on man”, which is what I’d use for someone who is male/non-gendered, as it’s an exasperated statement.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m1JakODvYhA (yes I need a better clip, IRL gets in the away)
Or you could avoid gendered expressions to begin with.
Glad you got my reference though lol
If you want people to use genderless expressions when they are feeling exasperated by your behaviour, at least provide them with equal quality words.
I’m frustrated with what you’re saying, and I want to say “pay attention man”. the non-gendered variations would be “pay attention fucker” and because we’ve had less than stellar interactions before, I am trying to be polite.