• MyNamesTotallyRobert@lemmynsfw.com
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    6 days ago

    the only times i’ve ever been employed and made a livable wage while doing it was at a job with policies like this, and it was because I was basically the only employee they had ever found that could comply with such absurd expectations. You have to miss a day at some point sooner or later. Which is why I no longer work there. Was being able to have that one dentist appointment 6 years ago worth it? No it was not.

  • MMAniacle@lemm.ee
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    7 days ago

    “Sorry I haven’t been to work this month, I’m too sick to go to the doctor”

    • GreenKnight23@lemmy.world
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      7 days ago

      fuck that, I’m gonna fuck shit up so bad with so many “mistakes” they’re gonna have to shutter the doors.

      rm -rf /* mother fuckers!

  • anarchrist@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    8 days ago

    Smoke breaks: smoking will happen during your shift and you will ash your cigs into the fabric scrap bins.

    Thank you, Triangle Shirtwaist Factory Management

    • I have (briefly) encountered employers who literally believe the first one, though.

      It’s a great way to get your entire workforce sick, that’s for sure. That’ll certainly keep productivity high, won’t it?

      • Miles O'Brien@startrek.website
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        8 days ago

        Power move: come in and vomit on the boss’s desk, car, or their person.

        “sorry, I was gonna go to the doctor but you know the rules”

      • Kichae@lemmy.ca
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        8 days ago

        Most employers don’t truly care about productivity or output. They just care about getting to control other people.

  • MentalEdge@sopuli.xyz
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    8 days ago

    What you’re saying is, that you’ll only accept that I’m sick if you genuinely hear absolutely nothing from me because I’m either dead or completely incapacitated, and then only show up later after recovering?

    I can work with that.

  • justme@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    8 days ago

    The line with the sick notices I can agree with. I mean… I sometimes get sick that I can barely leave bed, just sitting up makes me puke my guys out and then I’m supposed to walk to the next doctor, wait an hour … Sitting … so the doctor can tell me: “yep, you are sick”… Thank you, that trip probably delayed my recovery by a couple of days.

  • phorq@lemmy.ml
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    8 days ago

    Based on the font of “Company Policies” and the fact that it’s an embossed metal (or shiny plastic) sign, I’m gonna assume this is a gag decoration. However, I wouldn’t be surprised about a company using this as inspiration…

    • Yeah, this is one of those damn fool things you see hanging in gift shops and other outlets of kitsch, unironically on display as if it’s still clever and nobody’s ever seen it before. Usually right along side the very similar plaque with the “Labor rates: If you watch / If you offer advice / If you help” canard, “Harley Davidson Parking Only,” “Complaint Department, Take a Number (Grenade),” and others of the same ilk.

      • Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee
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        8 days ago

        I’ve seen the “labour rates” one in a few mechanic’s workshops.

        Definitely more of a hint than a joke.