I am looking for a few good people to bond with
I am surrounded by family members who keep hurting me. I need to make friends. But either I was not good at it or I avoided it as an urge.
If I had bonds with some normal people, that might give me more strength.
I have some acquaintances but I don’t know how to turn them into bonds because they were like hobby friends and we are not in the same location.
I’d prefer if you are mentally healthy because my family is crazy already
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I can fulfill that role.
Well first no one is mentally normal we all have our quirks i will tell you the first friend you have to make is with yourself. You have to move from an external Locus of control to an internal Locus of control. Be your own parent/mentor. If you want to talk it out to have a sounding board or just practice social interaction. I would be happy to talk with you.
Well first no one is mentally healthy
That’s not true
the first friend you have to make is with yourself
Good reminder, ty, tho I cannot talk to myself since I am myself.
How do you measure qualify of this friendship? Any ideas? I can try to improve that
You have to move from an external Locus of control to an internal Locus of control. Be your own parent/mentor.
or just practice social interaction
Why do you mention that? Because of my writing style (english isn’t my first language), I sound like a kid?
I’ve done a lot of stuff by myself that surprised psychologists I talked to. Rn I probably just need to feel like I have social bonds with good humans who are good to me
So first I changed my wording from healthy to normal to match your words.
Second you can talk to yourself there is a thing called Internal Family Systems Model (IFS) if you some kind of framework but really it cones down to treating yourself like your own friend. Like as goofy as it sounds take yourself out to dinner. Buy yourself gifts and by the parent comment i didn’t imply you were a child but you sad you don’t have the greatest home life and i made the assumption you might not have had the greatest childhood and if that’s not the case great. But you are never too old to be a role model / parent to yourself. I have talk to people in their 40s that had to become friends with themselves.
Your writing style had nothing to do with it. English is my first language and I’m very bad at it. So you got me beat.
Just keep in mind that no external person can help fix something about yourself. You fix yourself and the friends are just a bonus and can offer support but you got to do the work.
I mean I’m just some guy on the internet take what I say however you want but if you want to talk i would be happy to talk to you.
I feel ya on this. Me and my wife are struggling finding new friends to talk to or hang out with. Our introvertedness in general makes this even more difficult to do. But, saying all that, I’m willing to try when the opportunity arises.
