• HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.worldEnglish
    0·
    2 hours ago

    so being a made up pagan and growing up in a cult i don’t quite understand christianity. is the reason easter was so late this year because jesus saw his shadow on mardi gras?

  • wanderwisley@lemm.eeEnglish
    0·
    6 hours ago

    So Jesus Christ is the English translation for Saddam Hussein? Interesting, also short king.

      • Libra00@lemmy.worldEnglish
        0·
        11 hours ago

        Those must’ve been some really long thorns if he need to be made that much shorter for his crown to fit within the allotted 6’.

          • Libra00@lemmy.worldEnglish
            0·
            5 hours ago

            Is that blood then? Cause that’s kind of a lot of blood, especially considering the usual depiction just involves like a few trickles and rivulets, not whole-ass sheets of blood enough to cover even a startlingly short adult.

            People were a lot shorter back then

            Not that much shorter. The average height for men in ancient Rome, taken from remains recovered from Pompeii/etc, was, to low-ball it, 165cm (5’6") (I can’t find a link to the study itself, but it’s quoted below), while the global average height today is 5’8", so people were only a couple inches shorter on average 2000 years ago. I suspect the range between minimum and maximum height is greater today because many people near those extremes have health problems that tend to be fatal without treatment, so that may skew perspectives.

            The major samples from Herculaneum and Pompeii reveal the stature of the ancient adult body. The average height for females was calculated from the data to have been 155 cm in Herculaneum and 154 cm in Pompeii: that for males was 169 cm in Herculaneum and 166 cm in Pompeii. This is somewhat higher than the average height of modern Neapolitans in the 1960s and about 10 cm shorter than the WHO recommendations for modern world populations.

            • Laurence, Ray. “Health and the Life Course at Herculaneum and Pompeii.” Health in Antiquity. Ed. Helen King. London: Routledge, 2005.

            Now let’s do some pixel-counting to figure out how tall big J is in that image. The cave is 640px in height and it’s indicated that it’s 6’, while the J-man is 465px tall.

            6’ *12 = 72", 640/72 = 8.89px/in.

            465/8.89 = 52.3"

            So shorty over there is 4’4" tall, or more than a foot shorter than the average height during his lifetime. Also, can I just say: Hell yeah, I fucking nailed it when I guesstimated 4 and a half feet tall in my original comment.

  • dumbass@leminal.spaceEnglish
    0·
    16 hours ago

    Dude goes on a 3 day bender 2000 years ago so now I gotta hide chocolate eggs in my backyard and pretend a mutant diabetes inducing rabbit put them there.

    • 𞋴𝛂𝛋𝛆@lemmy.worldEnglish
      0·
      16 hours ago

      Rabbit and chocolate are not even remotely biblical either. Church adopted that shit to appease pagan converts ages ago.

      • dumbass@leminal.spaceEnglish
        0·
        13 hours ago

        In the original draft, Jesus was supposed to be an anthropomorphic chocolate throwing rabbit, but the writer was forced to change him to be human for marketing reasons.

      • dumbass@leminal.spaceEnglish
        0·
        16 hours ago

        Kids: Dad, there’s no Easter eggs outside.

        Me coked out of my mind: *Sniffing erratically* REALLY THATS CRAZY DID YOU KNOW IN 1951 THE CIA LACED THE DRINKING WATER OF THE FRENCH TOWN OF POINT SAINT-ESPRIT WITH PSYCHEDELICS WHICH MADE THE RESIDENTS HALLUCINATE SHIT AND THEN BLAMED IT ON MOLDY BREAD!

  • betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.worldEnglish
    0·
    16 hours ago

    Maybe they just forgot which cave they left him in, couldn’t find the right one later and then decided to commit to the resurrection thing rather than admitting that they lost him.