WASHINGTON—Rebuking President Trump’s decision to pardon Jan. 6 rioters, Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-KY) staunchly vowed this week to continue falling down stairs in the face of an apparent fascist takeover. “I can no longer physically stand upright for a party that excuses a violent insurrection that targeted our Capitol,” the 82-year-old lawmaker said as he […]
The Onion has been firing on all cylinders today.
Today? They’ve been amazing for like…30 years or more.
The Onion doesn’t have to aim to hit anything anymore.
The good news is everything is a hit. The bad news is the entire Battleship board is covered by your opponent.