Aunt: I’m going to Walmart, do you need anything?
Me: no thanks, I’m going there later to do some shopping myself
Aunt: But we could combine trips! It’s wasteful to both drive there on the same day! The responsible thing to do—
Me: ok, I give up. Please get me cat litter and cat snacks.
Aunt: Ok!!! :)) Which ones? And what isle? What color is the package—
Me: exasperated Are you serious? I caved and gave you what you wanted. Now you’re asking for more information? I told you I wanted to do my own shopping, and you fought me on it. I’m making a peace offering by giving you two items to buy for me, and you’re saying I need to go find the names and package colors and isle numbers? Please just be satisfied with what I gave you.
The thing that she wants is to feel good about buying me something. But I don’t want that. That’s the disagreement.
I imagine most people would see me as the asshole here: she can’t buy the right item if I don’t tell her what it is. But I clearly don’t care about those details; if I wanted something specific I would have told her that. The only reason I mentioned them was to appease her. I’m giving her something she wanted, something I wanted for myself, and she’s demanding more.
Yes you are. Not caring about those details? You don’t deserve your cat.
I never said I was going to feed the item to my cat. I said I was giving my aunt an item so she would be satisfied. Does that make sense?
So your plan for satisfying your aunt’s presumed intent to reduce waste is to create more waste? That’s still in the “jerk” zone. Could even be considered petty.
It’s been a month and you still haven’t answered me.
Your account has been active since then so it’s safe to assume you’ve chosen not to answer. Your refusal to answer me means your position cannot withstand scrutiny. I’m sorry but your credibility is destroyed and there’s nothing valuable here to salvage so I’m going to have to ban you from my instance.