This but Christianity and burning the world down
Being able to smugly utilize the thing that people always ask why you carry around is one of the best feelings there is.
Beamogging the darkness-cels
one of the major beefs I have with sci-fi is just how crappy the torches are both in what’s meant to be the modern day and the future
Much as I have always loved Star Trek: TNG and its take on future tech, every time they beamed somewhere dark and pulled out their scifi flashlights all I could think of is how tired their hands would quickly get in the unnatural position needed to use those things.
The second I got a flip phone I turned the flashlight on and held it by my shoulder like these stupid squares
I put mine in front of my eye and pretended to be a Borg 😆
“It’s your time to shine.”
“Other people will look up to you and will be able to tell the time.”
“An enlightening experience.”
“A bright idea, if I may say so myself.”
“With great brightness comes great visibility.”
“Your ability to illuminate a situation is truly outstanding.”
“You are the light at the end of my tunnel.”
“Don’t take this lightly when I say you’re brilliant.”
When the early bright white LEDs came out (not the ultra-packages) I got my father a photon keychain microlight.
He was working dozer/fire duty with a coworker. They were back deep in the woods investigating. Their regular flashlight bulb burned out. It was after midnight, completely overcast, no moon, rural, Dark AF. They stumbled in the dark trying to get back to the truck. It was the early 2000s, they didn’t carry cell phones or pagers. Dad remembered he had a keychain light. “We came out of there, about five miles, with that little light, we took turns smashing the button. both our fingers hurt, but we made it out” Yeah, dad, they have a little lock on the front, that holds the button down if you need that :)
I had an assortment of those types of things back in the day, both the genuine article and myriad knockoffs of varying levels of quality. Photon was the big name brand for those at the time. These days it’s astonishing to think that LEDs used to be an “exotic” technology at least for the purposes of illumination and not just being indicators on things, and they went through a period of being deemed neat but inferior in performance to their analog counterpart in almost exactly the same way that LCD screens did for a while. Which is an interesting but irrelevant parallel.
Anyway, the best one of those I ever got my hands on is one that I still have, which is an “Inova” branded Photon knockoff which among its admittedly rather short list of features included a sliding switch that would keep the thing powered on for you without having to pinch it the entire time.
Those little jobbers were and still are powered by a pair of CR2016 coin cells which the LED is extremely unkind to. There are no active electronics and also no current limiting resistor. The sum total of the light’s components consist of the casing, the batteries, and the LED. They’re switched by just mashing one leg of the LED into contact with the batteries, and the current draw of the LED is so immense compared to the couple of milliamps that the coin cells expect to be faced with that they’re literally incapable of supplying enough current to damage the LED. As a result of this their battery life is famously awful, and their full brightness runtime is probably less than two minutes. They’ll continue to illuminate in at least some capacity off of extremely beat batteries, though. I unearthed my little Inova light the other day and it still turns on, albeit not at a terribly useful brightness, on its original batteries. Which are probably from 2004.
Great reminder to not just carry gear but be familiar with it before we need it.
I was honestly expecting that story to be a romance
This evening on /r/fleshlight, a night of romance
Two dads, one Fleshlight
Edit: oh my
They called me an idiot for spending $20 on a tiny Sofirm flashlight but then I clip it on a cap’s brim and work in the darkness while the mortals must rest
Hat clips are great! I got a small Olight just a few months ago, and I’m still amazed at how much I use it. So handy.
Used to work at a brewery, they had flashlights around a lot of places. I bought my own (which was much better than the ones they had). So many times when the power would go out people would ask me to come with them or borrow my flashlight.
Surprisingly powerful for something the size of one of those old mini M&Ms tubes.
Provide a means for people to charge their phones = Instant Hero.
I guess I can’t compete. :(
…oh, wait, what’s this in my pocket? A brand new pack of gum!?
How the tables have turned. ANYBODY WANT A PIECE OF GUM?
I’ve got a memory where I was in a small meeting room with no windows and the power went out. One person said “I wish somebody had a flashli…” right as I clicked mine on.
I’ve had a little single AA Fenix in my pocket for almost two decades now… Comes in handy more often than you’d think.
… But I also always forget phones can do light as well. That said, I’m not shoving my phone down in an engine bay to get a better look at wiring, but that $15, 20 year old flashlight, sure.
I guess sign me up for flashlight crew.
One person said “I wish somebody had a flashli…” right as I clicked mine on.
I came in my pants a little just imagining the perfectly-timed ego stroke. In my mind, the click of the flashlight is immediately followed by a moan.
: D
I didn’t realize it was a core memory for me until this post pulled it up immediately.
It was… very satisfying.
I’m in Tokyo right now, got a limited EDC since no firearms/knives at the moment, but it felt nice to have my ifak and flashlight when the (false) earthquake warning popped up on my phone.
Same with screwdrivers and my trusty pouch of cables and adapters. Always a great feeling to surprise someone with a solution when they didn’t even expect one.
I humble brag about my backpack being a bag of holding for everything I may need for any situation and, yes, yes it is a good feeling.
I have a whole electric generator and I would prefer not to own it. Where I live, electric service can be iffy at times due to falling trees. And it can sometimes a day or more for the power to come back.
The LAST bloody thing I want is for that generator to come and run. It costs real money when it does come on and that cost sucks. The only thing that costs more is freezing the house up when it’s -30 outside.
You have an electric generator? Is it self sustaining? Where can I get one?
It self sustains as long as I keep the LP tank full.
MF living in Siberia
Close. Northern Minnesota. Though thanks to the upcoming el Nino, we are to expect a warmer winter. I would really like to save some money on my heating bill this year.
Removed by mod
I wish r/fleshlight was this wholesome.
It will not work here:
“Sir, This Is A Wendy’s”
but maybe here:
“Anyway, this is a Walmart”Me, too!
Power outage at the grocery store. Big day for me.
Beamshots.
That moment where you pull out the fleshlight and it makes you a hero. People, almost exclusively other guys, will ask you where you got it and you get to talk about it. This. Is. Your. Moment.
The customers at the sperm bank: 😱
Not gonna lie, it was the highlight of my day haha
Edit: one too many has. It’s important to accurately quote.
People, almost exclusively other guys, will ask where you got it
I’ll let them have it. I’ve got three more at home.
From either Hank, Jackson, or Simon, iykyk
It’s plenty holesome.
I mean, looking into it (you can thank me later), it seems like a great support group!
Very little friction to speak of. I’ve seen some communities that just felt like a square peg in a round hole and this one definitely doesn’t have that vibe.
Dunno, seems more like a circlejerk to me.
It can be both
As a Kyiv resident: no, you don’t want power outages. It’s less fun after the 10th time in a week.
Yeah but check out my thick beamshots
10 times a week are rookie numbers
