I didn’t enjoy being a kid at all, but being an adult I do like, don’t mind working because they pay me.

“Everyone else got it” is a stretch.

It does sound like you are carrying a lot of trauma, I don’t want to minimize that, but if you are able bodied, can see and hear and move and think, you are ahead of a lot of people. If you live in a developed nation, you are ahead of a lot of people. I don’t think even a majority of kids get the idealized childhood you think they do.

If you have no kids or obligations - what I did was get a lot of roommates to get living cost low and yeah, did just work a minimal job and hang out for a few years before sort of getting more serious about work. Never did the career ladder thing but did get a good job and I can say with absolute honesty - it got better.

Nobody is judging you anymore. You’re free to live how you want to. Most people struggle to find a balance between working and life. So you’re not alone there.

I met this traveling nurse who spends fall, winter and spring working, and then spends summer traveling and hiking in the mountains. I met a teacher who does the same. There are many seasonal workers who put in a lot of work in a burst and then take time to themselves - firefighters, wine grape harvest, ski lift/resort.

Keep an open mind, and live simply. Keep few possessions which add a lot of value to your life. Think of what you want to do, then figure out how to get there. At least then if you are working a boring job, it is moving you toward your own goal.

Jobs are just for money. Don’t worry about the “contribution to society” propaganda. They are using you.

Its okay to feel like you don’t want to work, that’s fine. The oligarchs around the world baredy do any work and exploit the average wave-slave to fullfill their luxurious life. Don’t feel guilty for feeling that way. However, do realize that, while this capitalistic machine runs, you kinda have to perform “work” to obtain resources for survival (aka: “money”). It’s not fair, it’s the cards we get dealt with.

The real “contribution” would be to tear down the system of oppression and advance human rights, not feeding an arbitrary desire of the oligarchs to grow their assets. That is not contribution, that is being a willing wage-slave.

Life is not fair, its up to the people to make it fair, by any means necessary.

“A Riot is the Language of the Unheard” -Martin Luther King Jr.

“When peaceful revolution becomes impossible, violent revolution become inevitable” - US President John F. Kennedy

So you either resist, or you comply and get a job. It is what it is.

Committing a “crime” like shoplifting is a way of resistance, but it all depends on what your moral compass allows. Don’t kid yourself, the only reason why people don’t just rob the corporate chains is the fear of consequences (from the legal system).

So, if you are willing to take your chances and resist, go ahead. I’m not advocating crime, just saying that it is an option.

But even a life of crime is still technically a “job”, abeit an unlawful one.

You can’t really do nothing and survive. Either legal or illegal methods, you gotta pick one way to acquire resources.

Sorry if this is incoherent, I’m struggling with similar issues as you. Good luck.

Edit: TLDR: Just do the minimum possible to survive, don’t overwork yourself.

People who say that they like working or want to work more are either lying to look more productive or crazy workaholics (please, get help if you fall in that category).

Nobody wants to work, but most people have to, so try making the most out of your free time after work and don’t let your job become your life.

You’re not lazy, you just value your free time and are trying to process a difficult trauma. That’s not laziness so don’t be too hard on yourself about it :>

Most people don’t want to work.

Even people who had great childhoods often spend “the other 8 hours” trying to be kids again.

You either gotta do it like the rest of us and find time for enjoyment between work and errand, or find a way to make money off your “adult childhood”. Neither is easy, but you’ve been through a lot, so you’re obviously capable of doing difficult things.

It might help if you schedule time for it. That way, you can say, “On Tuesday, I’m going to do these things I missed out on as a kid from 7 to 9pm”. And then you play. Or whatever.

You need this, and everyone needs it, so don’t feel bad about scheduling it. You’re helping yourself heal.

Ok, it sounds like you haven’t had the opportunity to process your childhood trauma, and yes, based on what you wrote it is a trauma.

I recommend going to therapy to help you process and sort out your thoughts.

You were robbed, robbed of your childhood, sadly, you can change that, but you can change it so that you don’t get robbed off of your adulthood as well.

You either work your way through life or you leech off of others. Those are the options. There are kids who grew up in war zones, sleeping through air raids and watching those around them die. They still work. There are kids who were in and out of foster care, kids who watched their parents OD, kids who were SA’d every night, kids who slept on the street. Few people have had the ideal childhood you’re describing. Those people still work. They get into therapy. They make something of their life.

Quit making excuses for your laziness. Get a job.

I understand your thinking. OTOH, if you don’t carry your own weight, you make someone else do it for you, and put them through the same hell you’ve been trying to escape. That’s not fair, either.

If I were you, I would try to take some time off, travel the world on the cheap, and find my feet, maybe even make peace with myself.

Good luck!

You got a rough start mate and I’m really sorry you didn’t get the loving childhood you deserved. You should never have suffered this, and you’re starting on the back foot but held to the standards everyone else is. It’s unfair, and it’s ok to feel that.

I never got a childhood either, so I claim it now. Things like cuddly toys, fun snacks give it to me now. I also get parented in !dadforaminute@lemmy.world and in other ways, that helps.

If you can get by without a job, go for it.

Pack up and/or get rid of all your stuff and go travel the world. Go discover new places, new people, new cultures. Learn new languages, new skills, new customs. That’s probably the closest experience to being a child again as an adult.

i come from a similar place, and while I’ve been on my own for 10 years now, the crushing grief of my lost childhood has only intensified. now, the whole country i live in is trying to force me back into the same life i struggled SO HARD to escape

I’m also severely depressed and have a painful disability that i have to work through at a manual labor job. all i want, all i need, is rest. but i will probably die working, and so i grieve for my past as well as my future.

sometimes it feels like i will never truly live, and that’s incredibly painful to deal with. dont listen to people telling you to stop being bitter, i know it isnt like that at all.

try to find an understanding community, as well as a trauma-informed (very important) therapist. you may never get rid of the trauma, but hopefully find ways to cope.

Most people don’t want to work - they just have different reasons for why.

Personally I’d take the stoic approach: if you can’t change how things are so the best this is to accept it rather than resist.

Man, most of these replies are just the results of living in capitalism and the brainwashing it imposes.

“Work cause you have to… Unless you don’t cause you’re rich!”