I don’t want pity. Just someone to hear me.
Debt collectors are threatening my family.
I’m trying everything — writing, working, asking.
Nothing works.
I’m holding on by a thread.
I write horror stories, but real life is worse.
Ko-fi is in my bio, but even a kind word helps.
I’m going to be that guy.
This is a brand new account asking for money. Why is this author of dark fiction getting better treatment than Nicole, the Fediverse Chick?
I get where you’re coming from. I know how it looks — a new account, asking for help. But I’m not here to scam anyone. I’m a father fighting to stay afloat and protect my child. I don’t expect pity. Just hoping someone might care. If not — thanks anyway for taking the time to read.
You’ll get better advice if you don’t panhandle. Agree with the poster above that I personally wouldn’t give money to a stranger like that.
I totally get where you’re coming from. Honestly, I never imagined I’d end up in this place either — begging online just to get my son through another week.
I’m not expecting strangers to solve my life — I just hoped someone out there might still care enough to help a father protect his child.
Either way, thank you for being honest.
Bullshit. If you were legit looking for help, you’d be asking for financial advice, food banks, etc. Resources to actually help. Not some pity story followed up with “you can find my contact info in my profile”. Your comments read like AI or someone’s writing exercise.
You real and want some advice? Look into declaring bankruptcy and restructuring your debts.
If you’ve ever felt like this — thank you for reading. Even being seen means a lot.
In Australia we have a thing called a part 9 debt agreement. If you enter into one of those it’s an ‘act of bankruptcy’ but you have an agreement with creditors to pay them off over a long period and potentially without interest.
Once in an agreement I believe they must stop hassling you.
Source: had one 20+ years ago.
I could have gone bankrupt instead, but it wasn’t fair to the people who I owed money to.
Wow, well done mate.
Thanks :)
Had a tricky patch in life. Recovered. I remember the calls and letters from that time, and the relief of finding a way out. Not sure if it can help OP, but hope there’s something similar available today.
You got this. Things will get better.
Thank you. Even two words like that mean a lot right now.
Hi,
Just wanna show support ❤️
My Spidy sences tell me no.
Debt collectors are not the mob (sort of), they’re not after you because you hurt their feelings.
Ask them straight up what the minimum amount you can pay to keep them off your back is, and move rivers and mountains to make those small payments. Pay more whenever you get the opportunity to. They just want you to pay SOMETHING.
Instead of your debts wearing you down, wear down your debts. Little by little. A drop of water can cut a boulder in half just by being persotent.
Especially the ones who bought the debt. They want income, they don’t want to spend time. If you pay them some tiny amount that’s higher than the pennies they paid, they’re happy.
I get what you’re saying, and maybe in some places that works. But here in Ukraine, some debt collectors act like the mob — threats, harassment, even to people I don’t know. Still, thank you for the advice. I’ll try to chip away at it, piece by piece.
Are they actually the mob, or are they just putting up a front?
In Japan the NHK, the country’s public broadcast service, resorts to mob tactics to get people to pay their “required donations.”
Every time they talk to me I just act like a wall. They can’t actually do anything to me, no matter what they say.
I don’t know if they’re technically mob, but the way they pressure and threaten definitely feels criminal.
It’s not just scary — it’s paralyzing. Especially when you’re alone in another country and trying to stay strong for your kid.
Thanks for sharing your take — weirdly comforting to know I’m not the only one getting this kind of intimidation.
NGL, this is a bit suspicious to me. ‘You tried everything’ but apparently you didn’t try just standing up to them?
“When you’re alone in another country” implies OP is an expat, but then they don’t go to their consulate? Riiiiiight. OP is a scammer.
I hear you, and I’m sure others do too, even if they don’t reply back.
I’m not sure how to take this post, whether you’re looking for some direction on where to go next, if you’re just venting about your current situation, or something else.
Regardless, you’ve reached out to someone somewhere here on Lemmy and that’s great. Maybe someone else here will comment some great advice specific to you, but otherwise I would highly suggest you find some free service to help if you haven’t already.
I’m not sure where you are in the world (and I don’t expect you to divulge that), but a good start might be a debt helpline. Australia has one, and I’ve been fortunate enough so far not to need it, so I can’t speak for how good or bad they generally are but I don’t see the harm in trying.
If you’ve already tried reaching out for help and you’re still both in this situation and clearly stressed, don’t discount all help options because the ones you tried didn’t work out. Outside of public services, even asking friends (especially older ones) for advice would be worth it. Even the lady across the counter you regularly shop at. Don’t dump it all on them but just ask if they were in crippling debt what would they do.
Thank you for taking the time to write this. I’m from Ukraine, and sadly, many of the debt services here are either corrupt or aggressive — they threaten people around me, even those I don’t know. I’ve tried everything I could find, but most doors stay shut. Still, I appreciate your advice and support more than I can say.
Are you willing to disclose where you are (even just the country), and what level of debt you’re in? e.g. US, ~$10K
It may help some of Lemmings to perhaps point you in the right direction if nothing else?
I’m from Ukraine. My total debt is around 15,000 EUR, but what’s urgent is 400 EUR that I need today to stop one of the collectors who’s been threatening my family.
Here, we have some organizations that don’t care about the law. They go beyond limits — harassing not only me, but also people I’ve never met, sharing my personal data and pressuring others to pay instead of me.
Thank you for your support. It means more than I can explain.
As soon as they approach you and others start recording, something tells me they’d be a lot less brazen with their behaviour.
Organize and plan. Get a spreadsheet for your bills and pay the worst first. If you have credit card debt, see if a consolidation loan will work, lower interest rate than credit cards.
That’s my advice, good luck. Hope for a better future 🙏
If you drink alcohol, stop.
If you drink, smoke, buy lotto tickets… consider every vice you have a direct threat to your life now.
Life is often not about how hard you work or how good you are, it’s often just about how lucky you have been. Were you born fortunate, were you lucky enough to get the job you needed, lucky to have been taught and understand financial literacy, lucky enough to avoid major health complications, lucky enough to be “smart” etc.
Frankly it’s incredible that we live as long as we do with the utter lack of compassion and community in the world.
I’m not going to financially contribute to your cause, which makes me complicit in your suffering, I’m sorry for that. I hope that your suffering is reduced and that your “luck” improves.
This was me in 2014. I didn’t think of it as drowining, it felt more like a plow working against too much snow: Things kept piling up in front, and not enough was shoved away, to the point where things started coming over the plow and starting to bury me.
Took me five years, some help, and a lot of luck to get things under control and start turning things around. And in 2024 all expensive debts were paid off.
It takes effort, but it can get better.
That snow and plow image hit really hard.
Thank you for sharing your story — it means a lot right now. I truly hope I can say the same in 2026.
I’ve had them after me before. I still don’t answer my phone if I don’t recognize the number. I feel you. And sometimes even when you pay, someone else calls to try collecting the same debt! They lie and say the sheriff is on the way with a warrant. It’s hugely stressful.
Listen, their job is to collect and they get money into their own pocket if they do. I got a call a couple of months ago from the pre-legal specialist or whatever. Mate, everything that happens before you get a court summons is pre-legal going all the way back to the original sale—it’s just a bullshit ten to make you believe you’ll be sued if you don’t work with them now.
I have some suggestions for you or others in the US. Caveat: I live in a purple state. Red states might be less borrower-friendly, but you still have things you can do.
First, writing 30 days of a new collector contracting you (and if one company fails they are more likely to sell your debt than sue you), send them (certified mail so you have proof of delivery) a proof of validation letter and demand the amount of the debt, original creditor, say that you are disputing the debt (you don’t have to go into details), and a demand for verification, period of assignment, and last payment date.
They are required to cease harassing you until they have fulfilled that request—if they don’t you can sue them. I’ve heard of at least one person who primarily earns money by getting harassed by collectors and suing them. but It will also tell them you know your rights and they might be less aggressive with you. This is federal law. You have this right in the reddest state.
Second, if you can’t pay a debt, don’t unless there is a court order. Pay attention to that last payment date. In my state, after 7 years without a payment or court action, that debt is uncollectable. Not every state is so borrower-friendly, so look up the laws. If you are close to the statute of limitations, just let that shit fly. Now, they can sell that debt and give some other collector another seven years, but they have to find someone to buy a debt no one has paid on in 7 years, and that a pretty bad investment.
Third, if you can pay a debt, call them up and cut a deal. You can often get up to 50% off the total if you can pay today. Now they are going to negotiate hard and you might not be able to get them down that low. Tell them you got a bonus at work and they can take half or you’re calling your next creditor and seeing if they want your money.
Fourth, and I’ll be honest this one is a little shady but harmless, once you pay a debt off, dispute it with the each credit agency. Even if it was a legitimate debt, I’ve found 9 times out of 10 I’ve that debt collector has your money, they don’t bother responding with proof of debt and it falls off your credit report.
Try to avoid a court judgement and garnishment. That can have long term repercussions. If things are that bad and you are drowning in debt, it may be time to call a bankruptcy specialist. I’ve never been in that position and I’ve had probably $20-30k in debt fall off due to statute of limitations.
I know it feels like an incredible weight. The system is designed that way. But it all feels way worse than it actually is. You have tools. You are not powerless. Good luck, mate.
Haha, there’s one specific ringtone that still gives a small pang of panic when I hear it, and it’s been almost a decade since Ive been out of collections. I largely used the dispute option off of creditkarma, though that might have been before intuit bought them, so I don’t know if it changed.
I don’t think the clock resets if the debt is sold. Just if you make certain actions on it, though I can’t remember the particulars right now and the state you reside in will matter
Edit: ah ok Ukraine, I’m not sure, but good luck, you’ve got this. Screw those vultures
Yeah I think the reset might depend on the state or there is a court action they can take. I just know it’s better in Michigan than it was in Virginia.
Thank you so much for your support — it really means a lot right now.
I’m from Ukraine, and sadly there are organizations here that act like the law doesn’t apply to them.
They cross all boundaries — making threats, spreading my personal info, harassing not only me and my family but even complete strangers.
They pressure people I don’t even know to force payment. It’s exhausting and terrifying every day.That’s rough, mate. I have no idea how it works in other countries. Sorry I wrote that all up and none of it pertains to you but hopefully it can help others. All I can really offer is this: these scum are predatory companies. They set you up to fail and then capitalize on it when you do. This isn’t your fault and doesn’t reflect on your quality or value as a human being. And hopefully anyone they call tells them to fuck off. Maybe tell folks it’s a paperwork issue/mistaken identity and they would rather harass you into paying than fix their records and figure out who actually owes the money.
That might not help with the actual debt but at least everyone gets the impression it’s not your fault but a dystopian bureaucracy. That’s very believable.
Thank you so much for your words, it really helps to feel heard. I’m from Ukraine, and sadly, you’re absolutely right — some of these companies are predatory to the point of madness. They don’t care about laws or identity, they’ll call anyone and everyone, share my private info, threaten people I’ve never met.
It’s not just harassment — it’s psychological war. Appreciate your support, truly.
You need to speak to a citizens advice organisation or a charity to find options for consolidating your debt into payments you can afford. They’d rather get their money back than nothing at all so the debtors will work with you. If you are ignoring correspondences because they are scary then stop doing that because it will make things worse. Things will get better but you have to be proactive.
I wouldn’t rely on ko.fi or venmo from strangers. Even if some angel pays off all of the debt you won’t deal with the underlying issues in your lifestyle that have got you jnto this situation.
I truly appreciate your advice. I’m not ignoring anything — I’ve tried reaching out everywhere I could. I’m doing my best to stay afloat for my son.
I understand some people see these platforms as unreliable, but for someone who’s already exhausted all other options — a little kindness can be life-saving.
Still, thank you for taking time to respond. It means something.
“See these platforms as unreliable”.
You prompted ChatGPT to write this for GoFundMe. This isn’t that kind of platform AT ALL. Yeah it’s unreliable, because you’re a scammer who can’t even scam well.
