Go to the hardware store and pick out light bulbs. It’s annoying because there are so many different kinds. You’ll end up standing there and talking to several people over a 15 minute period, commiserating over lightbulbs mostly. Some of them will be attractive women. There’s your jumping off point.
The probability of success of that method is directly proportional of the average talkativeness of the local culture. If you are somewhere where everyone is commonly minding their own business, then yea, good luck :/
To be fair “non-harassing way” is a bit subjective. I’ve seen dudes have success with methods that I would consider “harassing”. I’ve also seen guys condemned as creeps for approaching women at what I’d consider a reasonable time & place.
And the loudest most unreasonable people on both sides dominate the narrative online, which makes the whole topic seem more fraught to young guys than it really is in real life.
The truth is one person’s “playful teasing” is another person’s “harassment”. You have to develop your sense of empathy and feel it out on a case by case basis. Pretending this black and white doesn’t help anybody.
It makes it a lot easier though. When I’m in good shape and my hair is looking decent, it’s pretty easy to chat up girls at bars and parties. Plus 10lbs, it gets significantly harder. Add an unfortunate fuckass haircut, not a good time.
Reality can be cruel. Of course this goes the other way too, and it is far, far from a rule. Personality can make up for a lot. But when you’re trying to talk to someone you don’t know, looks are the first thing being judged.
“Be hot” is subjective, and a lower bar than most people think it is. Taking care of yourself and making an effort to dress nice goes a long way. Personality also plays into it quite a bit. I got a lot more success when I started making an effort to maintain a positive attitude when I was out socializing and I’m someone the incels would tell you has absolutely no chance.
no joke but the only thing that works is to know exactly what is and isn’t allowed, and i don’t mean on a vibes-based basis but on a legal basis, and then either accept the legal framework and optimize within it or reject it and become a social outcast (incel / radical).
To be fair “non-harassing way” is a bit subjective. I’ve seen dudes have success with methods that I would consider “harassing”. I’ve also seen guys condemned as creeps for approaching women at what I’d consider a reasonable time & place.
Yep; and this is a big problem of mine. As I’m quite pessimistic my default assumption is that a simple greeting is likely to result in a negative reaction.
A similar problem is approaching individuals / groups (for whatever reason) in general: are they free to talk to or is that a closed group who would feel bothered? Hard to see from the outside.
You have to develop your sense of empathy and feel it out on a case by case basis. Pretending this black and white doesn’t help anybody.
I agree. And as long as a no is respected promptly, no harm should be done by trying. But tell this my anxiety…
But what is the alternative, huh? Going outside and approaching someone (in a non-harassing way)? That would be madness.
Go to the hardware store and pick out light bulbs. It’s annoying because there are so many different kinds. You’ll end up standing there and talking to several people over a 15 minute period, commiserating over lightbulbs mostly. Some of them will be attractive women. There’s your jumping off point.
Can’t confirm, last time I picked out lightbulbs I dawdled for quite a long time and didn’t talk with anyone.
The probability of success of that method is directly proportional of the average talkativeness of the local culture. If you are somewhere where everyone is commonly minding their own business, then yea, good luck :/
I will also wish you a happy cake day! (*･ω･)ﾉ”┌iii┐♡
Thank you (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)
Call the rental girlfriend hotline
To be fair “non-harassing way” is a bit subjective. I’ve seen dudes have success with methods that I would consider “harassing”. I’ve also seen guys condemned as creeps for approaching women at what I’d consider a reasonable time & place.
And the loudest most unreasonable people on both sides dominate the narrative online, which makes the whole topic seem more fraught to young guys than it really is in real life.
The truth is one person’s “playful teasing” is another person’s “harassment”. You have to develop your sense of empathy and feel it out on a case by case basis. Pretending this black and white doesn’t help anybody.
Remember, when trying to start a conversation with a woman, follow rules 1 and 2:
:(
Ngl that taught process is part of the online incel culture. I have a lot friends who are women that don’t even think about it.
It makes it a lot easier though. When I’m in good shape and my hair is looking decent, it’s pretty easy to chat up girls at bars and parties. Plus 10lbs, it gets significantly harder. Add an unfortunate fuckass haircut, not a good time.
Reality can be cruel. Of course this goes the other way too, and it is far, far from a rule. Personality can make up for a lot. But when you’re trying to talk to someone you don’t know, looks are the first thing being judged.
“Be hot” is subjective, and a lower bar than most people think it is. Taking care of yourself and making an effort to dress nice goes a long way. Personality also plays into it quite a bit. I got a lot more success when I started making an effort to maintain a positive attitude when I was out socializing and I’m someone the incels would tell you has absolutely no chance.
no joke but the only thing that works is to know exactly what is and isn’t allowed, and i don’t mean on a vibes-based basis but on a legal basis, and then either accept the legal framework and optimize within it or reject it and become a social outcast (incel / radical).
Yep; and this is a big problem of mine. As I’m quite pessimistic my default assumption is that a simple greeting is likely to result in a negative reaction. A similar problem is approaching individuals / groups (for whatever reason) in general: are they free to talk to or is that a closed group who would feel bothered? Hard to see from the outside.
I agree. And as long as a no is respected promptly, no harm should be done by trying. But tell this my anxiety…
Yeah I just don’t talk to women out of fear of being sued
happy roomba day!
Thanks, I guess :D Can you explain the roomba joke to me?
Ahh, you one of these fancy people who own a multi-story roomba xD
Mine looks like a cake
Makes me wonder if it's font specific or theme specific.
It also depends on the client.